Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Now Kids, Let's Review.

I think I'll take the time to respond to some comments and emails.

I've mentioned my 35" inseam. I'm a tall girl, 5'10", so that makes half of my body legs. I'm a walking tree. For comparison my husband is 5'8" and has a 30" inseam. Get those images out of your head you perverts. This photo is pre baby #3. Throw some saddlebags up high and you've got a current idea. If you squint you can see a small anklet on the front leg. Justin gave me a wish bracelet when we began dating. He wore it and when it fell off he got his wish. He tied it around my ankle and when it falls off I will get my wish. I've worn it for 13 years and I've never taken it off. Pssst...don't ask me what my wish is because if I tell it won't come true.


I was asked about being from Utah. I was born and raised in Utah County. I grew up in a town with more cows than people. My parents had a small farm where they raised Arabian horses. My little sister and I used to play "king of the hill" on the manure pile. When I was 12 we moved to a much more surburban part of Utah County where I learned that kids my age were no longer jumping rope but "going together". What this meant is that you found someone of the opposite sex to sit with at lunch and you held their sweaty hand. I was never asked to go with anyone because I didn't have boobs. Boobs didn't show up until I was 29. Don't worry, the boobs will be gone again by the time I'm 32.

I've always been an "inactive" member of the Mormon church. This means I'm on the church roll call but I don't attend. My Dad thought it was wrong to force religion to people too young to understand it. When we moved I began attending church with a new friend up the street. Her parents never made us stay for sacrament meeting so we only went to the sunday school portion of church. I did this up until the age of 14 when an older lady offered to help me with my problems in the church hallway. I didn't know I had problems so I asked what she meant. Apparently I had become impregnated and all the ladies in church were concerned with my spiritual wellbeing. I was nowhere near pregnant. Hell, I hadn't even kissed and I didn't have any boobs. A mean twit my age decided to tell her mother a story and that gossipy twit spread it to everyone attending church that day. Later that week I talked with my bishop (a pastor of sorts) and told him that I would not be returning to the ward. He didn't blame me. I got disapproving looks from some neighbors for years. I never got an apology either.

I have nothing against the Mormon church, but I sure do question some of the people in it. All religions have wackos and fundies though. I find faith to be a still quietness in my life that, frankly, I don't want to share with a churchful of people.


Going Ape Costume (link to the right) is my little business. My hobby got big enough and I had to make it legal. (Uncle Sam wants you!) All the costumes in the Gallery section are things I've sewn. The costumes in the For Sale section include some factory items. I model most of my costumes because I'm cheap, including the ape suit on the front page. I use a Kenmore sewing machine and a Bernette serger. Halloween is my favoite holiday and I don't costume for theater. Community theater is the furthest I've gotten professionally and they expect free miracles. Miracles? I don't even have boobs.


Here is a pic of my boys. Kaelan is 11, Alec is 6 and Ryan is 2 months. Email me if you are interested in arranging marriages.


  1. OMG Becky!
    I just looked at your costumes. You are a VERY talented lady! Personally, I would LOVE to own G-string Geena .... she's GORGEOOUS!!!!

    Speaking of gorgeous, look at thaose handosme men of yours! WOW!
    Can't arrange any marriages here, I have 2 boys myself.

  2. You are one talented woman, including your greatest cration, those beautiful children.

    I want a costume to hide inside of today myself!!

  3. I'm only 5'0". Trade ya. :)

    Love the costumes! I've always wanted to learn to sew. I bougt a book once called "I taught myself how to knit." With it came the knitting tools and yarn. It's still in it's original box.

  4. You have a lot of talent, the costumes are very professional. I will say though knowing it was you in the Gorilla suit made that image very humorous to me.

    What great looking will have your hands full...come the teen years.

    Believe it or now it's easier at this stage.

    Great Stuff Becky

  5. Nice blog. I had a similar experience in my ward at the age of 14. The Mormons are too much.

  6. Aw, crap. all I have is sons. I guess we can see what happens, and depending on legislation... snort. Sorry, i couldn't resist.

    also, LOOK at those legs!!!! damn. love your mormon background. your dad had the right idea. :)

  7. i dont know you....but i just want to say that i am mormon and i love the church...and i honestly and truly believe the church is the true church...that girl was wrong of spreading a rumor..but not all mormons are like that. and it could have happened in any church. It's all about faith you just have to have faith...i have visited other church's and i have not found any that make more sense then the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. Im sorry about what happend but that shouldnt have caused you to quit going to church..i would like to encourage you to go to a different are very lucky to have the church in your life. most people dont have that....thanks


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