Monday, August 29, 2005

Trip Trap Trip Trap

I've been indulging in a guilty pleasure. No, it's not chocolate. It's not even fattening.

I enjoy reading Mother In Law Stories. I surf on it once a month and gleefully read my little heart out.

There is nothing in this site that I can identify with. My inlaws are wonderful people! Justin was raised by his paternal grandparents and so Grandma and Grandpa are my inlaws. It must be the need for good gossip that isn't present with Grandma that keeps me coming back to that site.

Not that my inlaws didn't have their moments. Grandpa was an old goat. When a person is a goat it's a common goal to increase their goaty-ness by getting yours. Grandpa spent his whole life mastering this art.

***

Scene: Grandpa, 82, and Becky sitting quietly at a small round table in a cozy kitchen. They are each hiding behind sections of that day's paper reading. The only noise comes from the rustling of the newsprint. Sections are traded. Coziness resumes.

Almost an hour passes in quietude.

Grandpa: (Slamming down the paper in a profound way, and says in a gruff voice.) I GOT PISSIN' PROBLEMS!

Becky: (Sets paper down, guffawing loudly, moving her hands over her face to cover the blush.)

Grandpa: THEY GOTTA ROTO ROOT ME OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS!

Lights down. Scene ends.

***

Ahhhh Grandpa...How can I compare that to the worst gift stories on motherinlawstories.com when you give the gift of laughter?

This same old goat had tested me years before when Justin and I were dating. Grandpa needed to know that I was worthy of his grandson. I'd showed up at their house wearing a dress as I was taking Justin to a awards ceremony. The best source of fresh goaty-ness comes from sweet nubile barely legal girls like I was at the time and Grandpa went for it. "Show me dem legs!" he gruffed at me. Without hesitation or even a blush I lifted my skirt and showed him my barelegged 35 inch inseam. He nodded and I dropped my skirts. Nanny nanny na na, no goat for you!

It turns out that I was worthy.

Now Grandma is a widow and she's lonely. You would be too if you spent 60 years of your life someone as gruff as that.

2 comments:

  1. My that was funny. Well a little sad at the very end about Granny and all.

    Overall laughed hardy at Grandpa's antics and dreamed a little about that barelegged inseam...mind you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Nanny nanny na na"

    LOL!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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