Thursday, September 29, 2005

Body By Marv Albert

All you ladies out there in blog-land, get ready to get jealous. Ready? Here we go!

Justin, my incredible husband, does not watch sports on TV. (Exception being the Olympics.) ESPN is not programmed into our Direct TV menu. He avoids pro football and basketball and baseball and soccer and wrasslin'. He doesn't know stats or averages or even the player's names. He avoids Sports Illustrated!

That's a lie. He gravitates toward one issue a year. You know THAT issue.

He's thumbed through the swimsuit issues of Sports Illustrated plenty but in the whole 12 years of our marriage he's only purchased one copy. This copy is the Michael Jordan of all swimsuit issues. It resides in a special place on the bookshelf on Justin's side of the bed.

I've made an agreement with Justin. If Tyra Banks shows up at our door and says breathily, "Justin, you, me and a jar of vaseline, baby!" , he's allowed to go with her with my wholehearted consent. Have a good time and pick up a couple of gallons of milk on the way home.

Oh Tyra Banks, you million dollar bra wearing tart! Why do you attract my husband so? Sorry, dumb question. She's got a really fun personality.

Are you ladies still jealous?

Update! As of April 18th, 2008, it was voted that Tyra's sins were too great and has been stripped of her tart status. She may redeem herself in the future.


  1. Swear Becky...I have to purchase one of your big boob costumes and get me that Nun's Habit for the next showing a little leg would KILL.

  2. Hmmm ..... The Common Law and I have the same type of agreement for Jessica Biel.

    Aren't we such loving, understanding wives?!

  3. Me and my hubby have the same agreement about Eva Longoria and Sela Ward.

    We aslo have the same agreement with me and Matthew McConoughy and Kenny Chesney.

    Here's hoping!

  4. Yeah...I find that most women are willing to indulge the fantasy because they KNOW it wil never happen. :-) You get points for being cool wives and all the perks that go with it, without actually having to worry about anything happening...devious little minks is what you are :-)


  5. I've been blessed that way as well. Mine actually enjoys watching the big events, just to see a well-played game, but he doesn't care which teams win or whatever. I count myself lucky...oh, Tyra...I would trade my husband for a body like that.

  6. Tyra has this TV show now. She had an episode about breasts. She sends the men out of the audience then whips off her bra from under her tank top and her boobs fell about six inches. That's why Justin can diddle Tyra.

  7. I bet Tyra Banks does not hold half a candle to one of your many beautiful costumes!!!

  8. so...she's not perfect, either???? whoa. I love that. I mean...I know celebrities aren't any more perfect than we are (especially on the inside) but it can be daunting to compare oneself to that standard

  9. Is that YOU on the cover of SI???

  10. I suspect that secretly you're worried in case Tyra ever shows up on your doorstep.


Absent Minded Archives