Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Happy Little Bushes

In high school I never fit into one little niche of teen angst society. I know it's cliche to say so but I didn't, ok? Gosh! I got decent grades and was considered brainy. I was a flag twirling marching band geek. (Remind me to tell you some band camp stories, because mine are COOL.) I was secretary of my school's Future Farmers of America. I had a sexual reputation. I was an art fart...

Let's not get stuck on the sexual reputation bit. This post is going to be about my returning to art, not how many boys thought I was sleeping around in highschool, which I didn't do...uh much. (Remind me to tell you some band camp stories, because mine are COOL!)

Anyway, like, I'm returning to drawing. I put it down in any seriousness years ago when I had my first tiny, sticky, food throwing rug monkey. I'd also discovered costuming in a big way. I Love Costuming. Costuming includes my sketching skills. You have to put down on paper what you are going to sew. You could tell people all day about what you are sewing but the moment you put pen to paper and draw it for them, they know.

Since getting spayed and experiencing my own natural levels of hormones for the first time in my adult life, I'm experiencing a surge of creativity. When this happens my skin tingles and my mind itches...poison ivy of the soul...and I have to get it out. This time it's pencil, watercolor, pen to 90 lb. cold press paper. At this exact moment I'm quite buzzy from the delicious fumes from a fine point sharpie marker.

I'm not interested in "serious" art. Screw artwork that has hidden (or even obvious) political agendas. I don't care if my artwork means anything! Want profundity? Buy it on Ebay, cheap. I'm not interested in leading unwashed sheep off the cliff of life, unless you give me money to do it. I'll prostitute my talents, yes I will.

In celebration of my return to one of my better skills, I offer you a swell activity! See me draw on Art Pad. Draw your own! Lemme see!


Speaking of "lemme see", I said I may or may not post photos of my uterus. I decided that I may. Warning, these photos are graphic, showing my entrails and gooey bits. If you don't want to see then don't click this stinkin' link right here. I have a gorgeous uterus, fine and sturdy, producing skinny male children. I don't think my uterus is a talent though, so don't ask me to prostitute it.

Did you read my first paragraph? God, I was a dork!


  1. Never underestimate those fumes from a pointed sharpie!!
    These are words from a dork herself!

  2. Oh so freaky! I hate that the hot doctor who did my appendectomy knows stuff about me that I'll never know.

    Re: the band camp stories, you know what Michelle from American Pie says about band camp. Has to be true, right?

    Love the painting!

  3. Yeah, I have a few band camp sories as well...band camp was quite...enlightening. Congrats on the art...hobbies are always good for the soul...especially when it's got poison ivy...helps with the itching.


  4. wow, that was super nasty...

    I would REALLY like to hear about that one time at band camp...
    and to see your artwork!!!!


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