Sunday, October 09, 2005

And this one band 3

In part 2 of this series I blog about receiving one of the most prestigious awards you can be awarded in a high school level marching band. I was proud to know my instructors had recognized one of my better talents and qualities and my generous use of such for the welfare of the band. I was given 1992's...


Upon receiving this award at the end of the school year band banquet, the attendees rose up in a cheer...well except my parents. I think my mom was secretly proud though.

What did I do to receive such an award? Well...I publicly kissed and groped the harmonica* player...a lot. He was damned fine at it as well and that's why I give half the credit to him.

What I will blog about here is what the instructors DIDN'T see at band activities. I know you can keep a secret. Shhhhh!

On the same trip to San Fran where I stepped over a dead bum I also spent most of bus riding time with my hand down the harmonica player's pants. He didn't mind really. Band members were encouraged to bring blankets and pillows from home because we would spend our first night of the trip sleeping while the bus was on it's way to Reno then onto San Fran. The blankets saw a lot of action. Unfortunately this same action made my boyfriend need to pee...a lot. We were always stopping to let him pee. He had the bladder the size of a walnut. And here you were thinkin' we stopped for cleanup! No stopping necessary for that. I had baby wipes.

When we made it to our motel rooms we were divided so girls were on one floor and boys were on the upper floor. Did I stay on my floor? Nope. The animal magnetism from the room above and around the corner was just too much for me to resist. Upon arriving we started a rousing game of strip poker. I purposely lost the first hand and removed my bra from under my shirt. You wouldn't believe the zeal in which teenaged boys play poker when they know you are only wearing 3 more items of clothing, shoes not counting towards the game. I never lose another hand but they do. I had the harmonica player down to his tighty whities.

Time to leave is just before 11:00 bedcheck. The truant officer (a great guy) checked the harmonica player's room first of course, ten to 11. I thought I had more time! My boyfriend and I ran to the shower. On goes the water! We hear, "Where's that Bubba Ray*?" to which we hear his only half dressed roomates reply, "In the shower sir!" Perfect cover and the truant officer bought it. I look down at his wet tighty whities and laugh.

Five minutes later...

I'm scaling down the pole from the second floor to the ground floor. The truant officer had rounded the corner on the second floor and I made my escape! No telling metal stomping noises on the steps for me! I make it to my room with plenty of time before our own female chaperone checks on us. I change quickly and look particularly fresh in my pajamas and wet hair. I then had to share a bed with a girl that had eaten something bad and was up-chucking until she went to sleep. My damp clothes were dry by morning.

The harmonica player dumped me shortly before Thanksgiving break which was only just after the Sadie Hawkins Dance. We used each other mercilessly. He's still a good friend today and so is his wife. Sweet woman.

Incidentals that also got me the award were...
- Exclusively dating a boy the entirety of the year before. We also enjoyed kissing even though he wasn't in the band. This didn't mean he wasn't around band activities like hair in velcro.
- Wearing a pin on my extra cool denim jacket that proclaimed, "Birthdays come once a year. Aren't you glad you aren't a birthday?"
- Being asked on three occasions to share a bus seat with an enthusiastic kazoo* player and turning him down. Nothing against kazoo players but he thought I would maybe feel him up too and therefore he'd lose the extra geek pounds he'd put on around his head. I'm particular to whom I feel up.
- Knowing how to put on and use the condom that other band kids had found in a public restroom. Really kids, it's not that big of a mystery. I forget, they were mormon teens.
- Hanging my turquoise Jacqueline Smith A cup demi bra out of the back window of the bus attracting a car full of college boys which followed us for about 100 miles. Subsequently I'd take off said bra and put it on my car antenna while driving band kids places. What did I need a bra for anyway?
- Enjoying the nickname the Drum Major (the year before it was my sister) gave me. Tornado Tongue.
- Admitting I masturbated to two or three Flags after they asked me and therefore they found me fascinating and disgusting at the same time. (They were asking everyone to cause blushing and therefore they could know who did and didn't masturbate. I didn't blush.) Then one of them promptly picked up her Harlequin novel and began reading.
- Being comfortable talking about sexual functions and not giggling over it like the other girls. This made kids in school think I wasn't a virgin long before the actual de-virginizing happened.

No, I never did stick any instruments up my pussy. Ouch! The last thing I needed was flute player caused vaginal infections.

*Names and instruments changed to protect the naive.


  1. Nicely done...give 'em what they want without actually giving them what they want! Best way to do it!


  2. Apologies to the last commenter. I can't have my site linked to the content on your site for valid and personal reasons. If you would like to comment I would invite you to use the "other" option below.

  3. Nice that the instruments were changed as

    I can understand a woman's parent's not exactly embracing this type of award.

    Job well done!!

  4. You sneaky devil! I knew "parts" of that story, but MAN, you left some stuff out, like the whole sliding down the pole down to the other other floor, and hiding in the shower...and the masturbating thingy.

    As the parent of three teenage boys, I feel so sorry for the males you shared bus/band/car space with. You know how many unrelenting hard-ons you created? Oh well! I guess they had it coming to them (ahem)....

  5. Every Friday night, we would take off our bras, hang them on the antenna of my car, and then cruise the strip. We called it "Free-style Friday."


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