Monday, October 10, 2005

Fancy Dijon Ketchups

Five out of my last six posts have been about my history. I thought I'd thrill you with something current.

I was pondering today the appropriateness of my title. Now that my postpartum hormones are leveling themselves out and the baby is four months old and sleeping through the night my ditzy-ness seems to be abating. The issue worked itself out just now because I had to go to the grocery store and retrieve my purse. I left in my cart. I was told the name of the bagger who found it and I immediately forgot that too. Sigh.

Justin, my absent minded husband, has been encouraging me to go down to the casino and win the Megabucks progressive. This is a dollar slot machine and you need to put in three dollars a pull to qualify to win the progressive prize which is several million dollars. We've had one machine hit the progressive in town, some two or three years ago. The man who got the lucky pull had only put two out of three dollar coins in the machine when he made his bet. Out of the several million he could have won if he'd timed that third coin just right he only went home with 10K. At least at a casino they serve you free drinkies because after a pull like that you'd need one.

I think everyone fantasizes about what they'd do if they hit the lottery. Besides filling an empty room with 1000 unwrapped loaves of wonder bread and having my way with Justin on the enriched spongey wholesomeness, I think I'd go nuts in a fabric store. Heckfire, I'd rent the fabric store and have my way with Justin between the fleece and the juvenile prints. No way would I do that near the silks!

And maybe I'd buy a green dress. Nah. That's cruel.

7 comments:

  1. Wow! At least they were nice enough to return your purse. Hopefully nothing was stollen.

    That is so funny. Love on wonderbread! Sex sandwich maybe?

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  2. I was just thinking about my potential lottery exploits yesterday. Then I remembered that Utah doesn't have one.

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  3. I always said if I won the lotto, I'd do something very humanatarian with it. But, I think I would just buy celebrity chewed up gum on e-bay. Or buy liposuction. Yeah. And facial reconstruction. Because what's up with your face going all crazy when you get pregnant?

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  5. I sure know that I have fantasized about a thousand times about hitting the Lotto big time. But in the mean time I just know I have to work hard. I sure wish you luck! I just know that the only money I would use on those machines are pennies. Either way, nice blog, thanks for your posting one mine. You certainly have quite an imagination! LOL

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  6. Becky that besides myself for wishing to win the Lotto...I'm wishing for you to win it. I would love to see you on Televison telling the interviewer about the wonder bread and Justin.

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  7. I'd like to hear Becky on television telling anyone about anything. She should be in politics. NO! That wouldn't work. She's inherently honest, and blunt. What the HELL would we do with a politician like that?

    What I wonder is....

    Where do you get ideas like 'doing it on a room full of Wonderbread and aren't you worried you'd get a yeast infection...."?

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