Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Oh Great Pumpkin, HELP!

When making deals with your children for certain goals, like actually turning in completed assigned work to be graded on the day it's due, be prepared to pay up on your end of the bargain.

I now have to host a Halloween party for seven 11 to 12 year olds.

Oh, I'm happy to do it. I'm SUPER HALLOWEEN FUN MOM! (echo echo echo) I have 4 or 5 boxes of Halloween type decorations to throw around my house and yard. I will make some kind of green liquid refreshment and float yucky body part thingies in it. I will buy 50 lbs of dry ice for effect and make my heater work overtime. I will hang so many paper bats from the ceiling that conservationists and PETA will stage protests on my lawn. This is the part I'm excited about.

What is difficult about this party is the age group. These kids are between children and teens. Do I make them pin tails on donkeys or do I give them a beer bottle and say "spin it." What keeps these preteen monsters entertained without switching on a TV? Will they find the old games of my Halloween pasts just as charming as I did? Pizza is a given...there will be pizza that they will make themselves. I'm too smart to force any other food on them unless it is filled with lard, chocolate and sugar.

My son is pee in his pants excited about all this. He did earn it. As invites are going out Friday we have to decide if we host the party on Halloween night, which is a Monday and a school night, or we host it Saturday when many parents in this charming rural smeghole I live in take off 120 miles to the city to go to Walmart. They are both equally valid choices and I'm definitely on the fence.


Yesterday I had my TV on for background noise while I cleaned. I had been sorta listening to "The Waltons" and after this "Matlock" came on. I turn off my vacuum in time to hear this line from the wholesome detective show:

"Matlock, Jennifer is my best friend! She knows how much I love Dick!"

God, I wish I had Tivo.


  1. TiVo would have been great at that point I agree. Hope the Halloween party goes well. My parents would always welch on their agreements with us...they wonder why we grww up to be this automatically makes you better than most of the parents out there...congratulations!


  2. the parents in you're hamlet should be over joyed you'd host their youngsters...we always had the kid Halloween parties...spook house obstacle courses...with the jello and grapes for eyeballs gag

    I bet you will have a great party I only wished I lived closer and I could wear my birdsuit.

  3. 11 and 12 years old? Hell, with kids these days, you ought to be cooking up meth.

  4. Congrats on sticking to your end of the bargain. It may not be a bad idea to get some input from your son on this one. He will be able to conspire with his buddy's as to what would be COOL to do on whatever day you hold this Halloweeny Fest!

  5. Oh, don't we all, Becky, don't we all...

  6. Bah, love when that happens. Love that you notice it...not everyone does.


Absent Minded Archives