Monday, October 17, 2005

Why the hell is Desperate Housewives still on TV?

I wrote this particular rant at a forum I read daily over two years ago. I realized then, as I was being pelted with phone calls asking for favors from random folk, that I had unknowingly turned into a walking stereotype. I would touch my head and wonder if the hairdo fairy had come in the night and cut me a nice Carol Brady...

Before you read my rant I want to clarify that I have reasons that work for my one particular family to why I stay home. These reasons don't have to work for you nor do you have to like them nor do they have to make any sense to you. I made a perfectly valid choice (and isn't feminism about the ability to make choices?) to do what I'm doing. If you are doing whatever you do and it works for you and your family, then I'm happy for ya!

This rant is about my battle with the stereotype...


I am a stay at home parent. As such I...

1. am not lazy, ugly or unkempt. On the other side of the coin, I am also not obssesively clean. You can touch things in my house, I won't mind.

2. am not bored, lonely or waiting for a "good time".

3. am not free to watch your kids at any time whenever. Do not call me at 6 am the day you need a sitter because your regular sitter canceled last week. Do not call me when your child is sick at school and you can't miss a meeting. If I agree to watch your sick kid, expect a dry cleaning bill if they puke on my carpet, sofa or clothing. When I watch your kid it's a favor, if I watch your kid consistently it's a job and you will pay me.

4. am not free to do your errands. Pick up your own mail, dry cleaning, groceries, etc. I am also not wanting to do your housework, even if you pay me ten bucks an hour. I am also not wanting to do a majority of the bake sale baking because I'm home and that's what housewives do. Bake your own cupcakes.

5. am not clued in to what is happening during daytime TV. Buy Tivo.

6. am not willing to be on every committee in the community because I apparently have free time. No, I don't care that cows are being mass murdered...I'm heading for Burger King. No I don't want to go door to door asking for donations, in fact, I think that's germy. I gave at the office.

7. am not stupid. I did not give up my brains to be a stay at home parent. I am still perfectly capable of reading, studying and forming opinions. To further this idea...I don't care if you are a working parent, I am not superior to you nor are you to me. Don't treat me like I'm out of the working loop and I won't talk over your head about programming on Nick Jr.


You may have seen my rant before. It got passed around a little and I hope I got proper credit! I'm finding that I'm getting a lot more traffic from search engines with housewife as a key term. These searches go in two files. One for "nasty lil housewife slut whore" and another for "tips for housewives and for staying home". While I can do the housewife tipping (Is that like cow tipping?), I'd rather not deal with that being my only value as a human on the face of the earth.

Besides, I look lousy in pearls.


  1. I need sime costumes done NOW! Do it or else I will call Mom! I know all you have is free time. Three kids are not a lot of work at all. You lazy piece of..........................................

  2. You. Go. Girl.

    Good for you!

  3. I wouldnt want the days my wife puts up with. She is a stay at home mom right now too, ad with both my kids, and everything that goes with them, she works her butt off. Now.. I work 12 and 24 hour days, but none of them are as time consuming and schedule strapped as having to deal with her days. If people were to ask for favors, they have a helluva better chance of me having time to do them than she would.

  4. Your job is harder than mine, plain and simple. My hats off to ya

  5. even though i don't have kids and think that when i do have kids, i'll still be workings (we'll see), i have always maintained that women who stay at home to raise their children have a harder job than i do... i can leave my office at 5 p.m. and be done for the day. moms? not. so. much. it's 24 hours non-stop. i applaud you, becky!

  6. Wow...very well thought out, very well organized, very well written...I know a lot of managerial and executive types that couldn't do 1 of the three if their life depended on it. As to the stay at home mom thing...well, I have no experience there, as I have no kids and no vagina...however, I can say that from my experience...I wouldn't want to be one...the stress, the bad unions, the horrible wages...all pretty much suck. Kudos for doing it, CHOOSING to do it, and making it all work. I applaud you ma'am.


  7. My father-in-law read this, and I think that he believes that all we do is sit around and get fat asses from surfing the net all day. I am constantly being called on to do crap for my family and you put it so bluntly... I only wish I could say these things to them. Especially to my in-law (which I also call 'my period') who needs to mind his own business. I'll get a job when I'm done with this one!!


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