Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Fa La La La La!


On the first day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...a new toilet brush for my john!

On the second day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...two scrubby sponges and a new toilet brush for my john!

On the third day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and a another new brush for my john!

On the fourth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges, and another damned brush for my john!

On the fifth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and dammit if my john ain't clean!

On the sixth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...six cans of comet, five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and a new improved battery powered brush for my john!

On the seventh day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...seven shower curtains, six cans of comet, five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and where in the hell am I going to put another toilet brush you eejit?

On the eighth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...eight OB tampons, seven shower curtains, six cans of comet, five garbage bags!...four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and really, another toilet brush, can we say OCD?

On the ninth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...nine months of swelling, eight OB tampons, seven shower curtains, six cans of comet, five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and don't you dare give me another toilet brush you deranged woman!

On the tenth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...ten slightly used pampers, nine months of swelling, eight OB tampons, seven shower curtains, six cans of comet, five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and I swear, I'm peeing outside from NOW on...

On the eleventh day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...eleven kids for playdates, ten used pampers, nine months of swelling, eight OB tampons, seven shower curtains, six cans of comet, five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and I will never defile your pristine john ever again, are you HAPPY???!

On the twelth day of Christmas the housewife gave to me...twelve packs of midol, eleven kids for playdates, ten smelly pampers, nine months of swelling, eight OB tampons, seven shower curtains, six cans of comet, five garbage bags!... four swiffer dusters, three rolls of charmin, two scrubby sponges and a hand knit toilet brush cover for my john!

7 comments:

  1. A true house-wifely inspired blog!

    Merry Christmas, Becky, and also Justin, and your three sprogs.

    I'll get back to blogging when my family's all gone...right now there are tons of teenagers in the house and they're all wrasslin' all over the place! It's sorta disturbing.

    Have a wonderful Christmas. Luv ya!

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  2. I think Nevada does things to a person.?
    Vegas calling.

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  3. By the way the Chiquita banana thing is tres chic!

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  4. I keep coming back to that picture it's like a whole Carmin Miranda thing.

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  5. Can so relate, except for the tampons. Not back to that yet.

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