Thursday, December 01, 2005

Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it.

I've been so damned girly lately.

I purchased a can of hairspray today. Aerosol. (What's the term for this? Oh yeah, I'm old schoolin'. Yerrr.) I have not purchased a can of hairspray for years. The last brick walls of my teenaged rebellion have fallen.

I know, I know. It's an oxymoron to be a teen rebel against hairspray. Especially since I was a teen in the late 80's and early 90's. I should have been properly inundated with hairspray and mousse and teasing and hair fluffitude. I resisted. I resisted because my mom is the queen of Aqua Net. We once teased her that if we added up the costs of all the Aqua Net purchased for her use over the last 40 years of life she could have purchased a large yacht. My mom has very precise hair.

I didn't exactly want un-precise hair. I just wanted a do that I didn't have to, well, do. This is why I kept my hair Demi Moore in Ghost short from the ages of 12 to 18. When I got a haircut I could tell the stylist exactly which attachment to use on the electric clippers. I even eschewed hair stylists in favor of an old fashioned male barber in my highschool years. My very short hair naturally fell exactly where I wanted it and it was never a mess, ever. Hairspray? Pshaw!

Yet, all the years I kept my hair boy short I had a recurring dream. I'd dream about suddenly growing yards and yards of silky brunette locks. Masses of long hair reaching out and enveloping people in follicle enhanced love. Only when I began growing my hair did these dreams end.

So...over the next several years...I let my hair do it's thing. Except for a few trims I grow it to waist length. That's nearly three feet of brunette hair with a few grey ones in there for good measure. I stayed far away from perms and mousse and hairspray. I enjoyed my very long naturally flowing hair in many ways. (It's a great toy in the bedroom, ahem.)

Last year I decided my long hair was making me look less womanly and more like a very tall 12 year old. (Not that my flat chest had anything to do with it.) I made an appointment with a hair stylist and cut over sixteen inches of my hair. Chop chop. My braid got shoved into an envelope and off to Locks of Love it went. I left with an adorable pageboy and an adorable mistake.

The dreams came back.

Despite knowing that donating to Locks of Love was a very nice thing to do, I MISSED MY HAIR! I missed buying gallons of Pantene conditioner! I missed pulling it out of folkses armpits when I hugged them! I missed pulling it off my freshly chapsticked lips on windy days! I missed the feeling of it on my nipples during times when it's appropriate to be completely naked! I missed my identity!

So, I start the growing. Growing is helped by my third pregnancy. I'm at a point now where I feel my hair is where it should be and the dreams are gone again.

And it's hairspray that has made me feel less like a nineteen years gone 12 year old. I've recovered womanhood with the discovery that when I put a little curl in my hair I can keep it bouncy with a little spritz. When I get to big spritzes I'll let you know. Nah, I didn't buy Aqua Net. I got some other brand.

Mom, you'd be so proud of me.


  1. An aerosol is a collection of particles suspended in a gas. The term refers collectively to both the particles and the gas in which the particles are suspended.

  2. I feel ya...I cut my long silky brunette locks off last's still a bit (a teeny tiny bit) past my shoulders, but I miss it. It looked terrible though, so I really need a cut, but I miss the longer hair, and last night I had a dream, and in it I still had my long long hair.

  3. I wish i could have long hair. It is so fine and thin that it just looks awful if it gets passed my shoulders.

    I used aqua net as a child. My mom had precise hair too!

  4. You were just jealous of your little sis during your teen years. I had such long beautiful hair. I donated my 12 inches a couple of months ago, I guess I'll grow it out again and then donate it. That can be my only purpose in life. Call me Cha-Cha-Cha Chia!!

  5. Uh, thanks, Prince. (???)

    I am proud of you for eschewing the Utah-hair phenomenon of the 80s/90s. And I'm jealous that you could wear your hair that short! I would look like such a dumbass with boy hair. (i have a small head)

  6. sigh... my cruddy old hair, she does not grow even down to my shoulder blades. It's short or very shrt for me.

  7. long hair is sexy...nothing better than a big thick ponytail to hold on to when it's appropriate.

    have a blessed day
    im savin this blog addy

  9. Ahh yes -- long hair. I read somewhere that whenever a girl has a breakup or some other drastic situation, they often cut their hair. Psychic imprint - the hair is holding onto the memories. My hair is to my waist -- it will be trimmed by my Harley riding hairdresser and his switchblade, but it will not be cut off. It's to my waist and naturally auburn. I wear a helmet when I ride -- not to be safe but to prevent my hair from getting tangled. I used to say that I counted myself lucky that I wasn't a typical Texan with that sprayed-within-an-inch-of-death big hair -- but then I read in a book by Helen Bryant that Texas women will have two types of hair styles -- those that are sprayed and those that forever wear it long. If that's true -- I guess I do have that Texas hair "thang" going on.

    Great blog!

  10. Locks of Love is a giant SCAM! Long hair is sexy and short is rarely as hot. And that goes for women from 18 to 80, especially over 40. Good luck growing. Jay


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