Friday, December 16, 2005

Observations of the Week

I visited the deli at the local grocery store on Wednesday. I was going to pay for my purchases there but they were reprogramming the cash registers. The deli clerk points to the cash register ring up screen as proof that he is indeed helpless. It's scrolling TESTESTESTESTESTESTESTEST. Do I read this as "test"? Nope! For the likes of me it's flashing TESTES TESTES TESTES TESTES.

This on top of giggling when I asked the clerk to cut the cheese.

***

When I got my kids home from school yesterday my six year old son, who is usually bright and sunny, suddenly looked very sad. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Today in school a fart came out of my bum." I asked if he was embarrassed. His usual bright sunshiney-ness instantly returns and he replies, "No, it was hilarious!"

I agree, farts are funny. Son, be loud and be proud.

***

Yesterday my mom calls to ask my husband what I'd like for Christmas. He doesn't know. I don't fault him for this as I don't even know. He doesn't even know what he wants either. It's a good thing we are married.

I like practical gifts. My mother in law always asks me what I'd like. One year I said I could use some socks. She got me 6 pair of the nicest socks. She also likes practical gifts. We've given her a frying pan and file folders. Gimme stuff I need so I don't have to buy it myself. GIMME GIMME GIMME! ahem...

I get passed the phone and Mom asks me what I'd like. I'd already told her I wanted a studfinder. Not that I have trouble finding studs already, but sometimes they aren't as self evident as you'd like them to be. Mom asks "what else?" I tell her I'd really like some silicone muffin pans. Mom tells me I'm boring. Mom asks me if I need anything personal. I tell her I need underpants.

I have the feeling I'm going to get a jingle bell trimmed thong and some hemorrhoid ointment. Ho ho ho.

7 comments:

  1. you had me at testes testes testes.

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  2. I just don't like it when people give you say a jar of silver dollars and the jar is filled with honey.

    have a great weekend Becky

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  3. Love what happened at the grocery store! And your son...hope my kids laugh when that happens. Although I love gifts that aren't usually the things you would buy anyway, I think it's awesome that people get you what you want. I'm going to blogroll you...let me know if that's not okay. Love your site. Sorry to be slow letting you know that!

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  4. sometimes I like gifts just for the curiosity factor... I find it facinating the things people choose to give me. That is coming off sarcastic but I really mean it!

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  5. Am I completely infantile or is everyone else being too mature to point out the obvious joke presented by Becky needing a studfinder? Maybe I just haven't gotten laid in a while but I could use a STUD finder myself!

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  6. I too was cracking up completely at testes!

    So you know, I have never grown up, and am middle aged.

    Keep up those good jokes.

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  7. How funny, testes! I am so with you on the gimme gifts. I would be thrilled with a half dozen thongs, a couple pairs of socks and maybe a pair of Levis. That and I'm good.

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