Wednesday, December 14, 2005

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

Today I have no horkin' children in my house. One of my children was horkin' Friday and Saturday. We went shopping on Sunday. Then another of my children was horkin' on Monday and yesterday. Keeping home children from school really screws up my routine. I can't spend all day in the bathtub reading Good Housekeeping.

When I take my kids to school in the morning I have an amazing view to the south. There are about twenty miles of flat grassy plain with the road that goes to Ely cutting through it. This morning the sun was low and big casting a shadow of the entire mountain to the east over this plain. The sunlight around the shadow was a glowing pink. Beautiful. My camera can't catch this view. It's too big.

Holy crap, there are like a thousand birds that just flew into my backyard. My cat is going nuts. They will crap on everything!


I was just discussing with some online friends of mine how Justin and I give the bestest white elephant gifts! We are creative white elephant gift givers. We love to wrap up our unused items and we know the recipient will be thrilled with our thoughtfulness!

Our white elephants have included:

A opalescent sequin vest and silver shoes.
A roll of Xmas print toiletpaper.
An uneaten and still kinda warm taco bell hard taco.
A quart jar of vaseline.
A deceptive CD of Christmas carols. There was no clue given on the cover that it was going to be a very merry disco Christmas.

It's not like we've received good white elephant gifts over the years. I once opened a beautifully wrapped package containing BYU dorm dryer lint and Justin got a VHS copy of "A Very Brady Christmas".

Now, why aren't we invited to any holiday parties anymore? I have a jar of cheez whiz and some "ribbed for her pleasure" condoms I ain't using!


  1. Dammit, now I want Taco Bell!

    Those gifts are a hoot. If I ever had holiday parties, I'd totally be inviting you guys.

  2. I don't get it. I understand the concept but why is it called a White Elephant gift? Please, if this is painfully obvious try to be gentle with me. I have a very frail ego. What I want to know is was the vaseline opened and used? Were there finger prints in it?

  3. The vaseline was unopened and unused. Used vaseline...I try to be more couth than that.

  4. a very merry Disco Christmas???!
    not quite speechless here, but almost.

  5. The vaseline was a white elephant gift? I thought you gave it to me because my skin looked a little chapped. Damn, the meaning of Christmas has just went down the crapper for me.

  6. Once, for a White Elephant, I took the plaster mold of my mouth pre-braces. You know, from about third grade. To this day, my friends still wonder whose teeth Dustin got.

    I'm very much enjoying your blog -- found it via random clickiness -- and wanted to say hello and Merry (disco) Christmas!


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