Tuesday, January 24, 2006

100th post. 100 things about me. Yay!

Updated March 7, 2007.And again, May 8, 2008
And again, April 26, 2011

1. I have street cred.

2. I’m funnier than my husband is or ever will be, ever.
Okay, he's funny, sometimes. He's special.

3. I like cats.
And my husband is allergic to them, turns out. That's special too.Allergy under control, second cat being considered.
Three cats now living in my home.  Allergies being tolerated and are much better since moving the bed away from the window.

4. I like houseplants but currently have none. For some reason unknown to me they die in this house.
I'm working on growing live plants outside.
I've xeroscaped outside.  I live in a desert.  Who am I kidding?

5. I grew up in a small town on a small farm where we raised Arabian show horses.

6. I ate my lunch with chopsticks the entirety of my third grade year.

7. My older sister cut my long hair into a long mullet when I was ten years old.

8. I married Justin 2 months after graduating high school. We’ve been married 12 years.
We'll celebrate our 15th anniversary in August, 2008.
18 years in August, 2011.

9. I gave birth to our first son 6 months after that.

10. I gave birth to our second son almost exactly five years after the first son. They had the same due date.

11. I gave birth to our third son nearly 6 years after the second.

12. My body fights every form of hormonal birth control I’ve ever been unfortunate to use. I hate the stuff.

13. I’ve been properly sterilized.
I have the most famous uterus on the interweb. It's amazing what kinds of search terms bring up a photo of my uterus. I never thought my uterus would generate the web traffic it does. My uterus photo is even being used without permission on a medical site I won't name.
Tubal ligation photos still generating much traffic.

14. Even though I’m a seamstress, I don’t have the first clue to how to knit. I can crochet slowly.

15. Even though I’m a seamstress, I very rarely sew my own clothing.

16. Even though I’m a seamstress, I don’t quilt.

17. I hate doing dishes.
This has not changed, and my automatic dishwasher is still busted. Damn it all to hell. New dishwasher purchased. Old dishwasher now used to hide the bodies.  New dishwasher still going strong.

18. I dislike avocados and love guacamole.

19. I fart and I admit it.
I just did. Heh, and I just did it again. I picked my nose too. Pulled my underwear out of my ass.

20. I collect glass paperweights. They more they look like small blobs the better.

21. I collect frog figurines. The more natural they look, made out of metal or stone, the better.

22. I used to collect miniature tea sets but I got tired of dusting them and sold them on Ebay.

23. Christmas isn’t complete for me unless I have a tin of butter cookies.
Is it just me or are they not as tasty as they used to be?

24. I haven’t counted lately but I own over 500 commercial sewing patterns. I have a filing system for them including a looseleaf binder with a copy of every pattern envelope and a card system so I can quickly look up patterns like children’s animal patterns or poodle skirts.
510. 600. 620.

25. If I don’t have a pattern I can draft one myself.

26. I own around 100 sewing, costuming and Halloween type books. I’ve read all but one which is new and quite thick, called “Survey of Historic Costume”
I gave a bunch to our local public library. But then I bought more. Still 100 books. 105. 110 and a couple on my Kindle.

27. No, I won’t sew convenience flaps into your Furry Squirrel Suit so you can attend that one convention with all the rest of the Furry Suit wearers. Well, maybe I will.
No, I won't. It's decided. Unless you have a furry beaver suit. Mmmmm beaver.

28. Don’t ask me to sew you any adult baby clothes.
Maybe I will. I draw the line at sewing adult diapers. Mmmmm beaver.

29. I hate people that leave their children’s dirty pampers in parking lots. It’s worse if that person just left the pamper open.

30. I mostly dislike chinese food. I like it more since my last pregnancy when I craved it.

31. I was an Art Sterling Scholar in high school. The only thing I got out of it was being able to say that I was a Sterling Scholar.

32. I can draw, but I can’t draw hands worth a crap.

33. I can’t dance. I like to dance but I can’t dance. Elaine on Seinfeld? Yup, that’s me.

34. I can’t sing. I like to sing but I can’t sing.
This is the dawning of the age of aquarius, age of aquarius! AQUARIUS!
Ohhhhh myyyy love, my darlinggggggg, I hunggaaa ferrr yerrrr touch!
Boogie fevahhh.  I got to BOOGIE DOWN!!

35. I truly believe I can learn and be proficient in anything I set out to learn.

36. I’m interested in so many subjects that sometimes I feel flighty.

37. I took no home economics in high school. I majored in it in college.

38. If I have a question I ask it, even if it makes me look stupid. This is especially the case when conversation leads to sports stars because I only know the names of the ones that have crossed over to pop culture.
No, really, Who is John Galt?

39. I believe in the death penalty.

40. I don’t hint. If I want something I ask clearly. I find hinting to be passive aggressive.
Send me money. Buy me a pony.  Make me a sandwich.

41. I don’t watch reality TV. Except for the audition episodes of American Idol and Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I find the premise of Survivor sad.
I love Top Chef and Project Runway!  Hoarding!!!

42. I don’t like war movies with the exception of the first half of the movie “Full Metal Jacket”.

43. Even though I’m a seamstress I don’t watch Snewing with Snancy (Sewing with Nancy). I admire the woman as an entrepreneur but I find her shows patronizing and uncreative. Two of my sewing books are written by her and they are great. “Fitting Finesse” is a staple that should be in any seamster’s library.
I gave away "501 Sewing Hints"

44. I won’t take your order for a Halloween costume in the month of October. Sorry. I try to be done with all but my son’s Halloween sewing by the first of October. If you’d like a custom costume get to me in summer. Yes, it takes that long.

45. I have a large pokey mole on my neck.

46. My wedding ring is too large. It’s a size 5.

47. My ears are pierced twice.  I think I'll go get a third piercing.

48. I used to have a small tattoo on my hip. It was a red heart with a black outline. Despite trying to keep it moist it still scabbed over and most of the tattoo went with the scab. The black outline I had left was obliterated by a large stretch mark. Now you can’t even tell it was ever there.

49. I doubt very much that I’ll ever get another tattoo.

50. I’m an excellent cook.

51. Despite my talents in the kitchen I cannot bake a decent pan of brownies. They either turn out goopy or too fluffy. If brownies were pie crust my brownies would be excellent.
I can now bake a decent pan of brownies with the perfect texture. Right about now my husband is thinking, "bake some!"

52. I yell out “bless you!” when people I don’t know sneeze in public.
It's better than shouting, "GERMS GERMS OH MY GOD GERMS!"

53. I’m not scared of bugs or spiders or rodents or snakes.
I'm scared of these.

54. I was handed a baby rat the first day of my junior year in highschool because someone thought I’d scream. I kept it in a birdcage in my room. It had lived there happily for over a year when my Dad discovered it.

55. My first car was a ‘78 Mustang II. I was informed I was going to be buying a vehicle and my Dad chose it. He chose wisely. It had four cylinders, bucket front seats and a non-existent back seat.

56. I’m currently in the market to replace my Mustang II. I don’t want a fastback or a cobra.
Yup, still looking. Stilllll looking.  Anyone know where I can buy one?

57. Sexual fetishes are an interesting subject to me. I don’t have any but I find the why’s of them fascinating...except vomit fetishes.

58. Just because I love costumes doesn’t mean I have a costume fetish. I don’t.

59. I’m submissively dominant.
Now I'm dominantly submissive. Meh, now I just sleep through the whole thing.  Sound really travels well down the hallway to my teenaged son's room.

60. When I’m in a social setting with a group of women I will never say anything against my husband...ever. I am not a hen.

61. Being a housewife doesn’t mean I’m not interested in women’s rights. My choice to be a housewife doesn’t automatically group me with the folks that think women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. I enjoy being barefoot and I enjoy being pregnant.
Time for me to enter politics.  Entered my HOA and I'd rather watch vomit fetish videos than do that again.

62. I enjoy skinnydipping too. I haven’t been in several years. I’d love to go again.
But not in the middle of winter, alrighty? Now that it's spring I'm ready to get nekkid...and I should probably shave.  Love me, love my sasquatch.

63. I love my mother in law.
Yup, still do. There is something wrong with you if you hate my MIL.

64. I try to go braless as much as possible. This is less these days because my oldest is almost twelve and he’s beginning to notice those things.
And so do Jehovah's Witness when you answer the door...I'm thinking my braless days are about over. Sigh. Goodbye yellow brick road.
I'm only braless because my bras never fit because my boobs won't stay the same size from one day to the next.

65. My breasts are noticeably lopsided, by an entire cup size. My left breast is smaller.

66. Sometimes I stuff on the left, sometimes I don’t. Depends on the blouse.

67. I don’t like wearing makeup. I put it on maybe once a month.

68. I get wordy.

69. I am an excellent Scrabble and Boggle player.
Ever play Boggle where the only words you are allowed to find are five letters or more? Heh...I kick ass.Scramble on Facebook is awesome.

70. Someday, when my kids aren’t old enough to get scared of it, I will dress up as a 12 foot tall Grim Reaper.
Ooooh, maybe that's next Halloween!

71. I drink a lot of milk. I’d rather drink milk with my meals than most anything.

72. I’m not a breakfast eater. I don’t generally get hungry until noon. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and I’m full.

73. As I age I’m looking more like my mother and her mother.

74. You won’t ever catch me wearing thong underwear. If I want to avoid panty lines I go commando.

75. Even if I sell these.
I took down the linky. I used to sell novelty thong underwear sealed in a recycled beer bottle. Great gift for baby showers.
If anyone wants a Thongwiser, I'll send you one. Throw me an email.

76. I don’t really like beer either. I got the bottles for those from a man who owns a bar.
As far as I know he still owns that bar.

77. My favorite color is purple. I don’t own anything that’s purple.
I now own a V neck purple knit blouse which I like a lot.  It faded and died.

78. My lips are naturally a dark color. I rarely wear lipstick.

79. I like being kissed on the neck...a lot.

80. I like garnets. It’s not my birthstone.

81. I can charm a curmudgeon.  Unless they are in my HOA.

82. I have 10 very large plastic boxes full of fabric in my garage and 4 more cardboard boxes full stacked on top for good measure.
...add two more cardboard boxes. I've been a good girl and not bought much...Two more JUMBO sized plastic boxes.
Holdin' steady.

83. I’m quite regular.
Oprah tells me this is good.And what Oprah says goes...and now Oprah can inspect poo on her own network.

84. I hope to someday visit the Liberace museum in Vegas.
...and Graceland!
Liberace Museum visited and LOVED...Graceland still on the list of places to go.

85. I find it a little bit arousing when Robin Williams sings “Fire” in Elmer Fudd’s voice.
Have a linky and a big towel. You're welcome.

86. I had a big crush on a fat man in a TV commercial, some years back. He was dancing about taco shells and salsa.
I couldn't find a linky for that. Sigh.

87. If I wear socks they rarely match the rest of my outfit.

88. I have pretty feet. I have really long toes. Sometimes my feet turn an interesting shade of purple.
Matches the new knit blouse.
Matches Glenn Beck's blubbering.

89. I’m stuck on eighty-nine. At least I wasn’t stuck twenty places back. (heh)

90. I’ve never been officially proposed to. I’ve been told that I would be getting a proposal but it’s never happened.

91. I’m pear shaped. I grew hips at age 12. I know how to move them.

92. I cannot go #2 in a public restroom. My bowels clench so tight that I fart backwards.

93. I think George Dubya Bush is a twat. This makes Karl Rove a tampon. This administration needs some Midol.
Thank GOD it'll be over soon.
Vote Obama!
Yes, I still like Obama. 

94. I cry at the end of the movie “Babe”.

95. I like reading in the bathtub.
Sometimes it puts me to sleep in there...
Don't have to turn pages when you read your Kindle in the tub.

96. I had five wisdom teeth removed. I’m extra wise (assed).

97. I still have a lot of admiration for anyone I ever dated, except one person. He had one eyebrow and a strange looking penis. What was I thinking?

98. I love secondhand stores. I like searching through racks of donated clothing looking for the most awful attire. I like donated frames and glassware.

99. I think potguts are sexy.
Thick thighs too...
And bald spots.

100. Ok, I really don’t have street cred. Unless working on Center Street in Provo counts.

9 comments:

  1. I am so tempted to comment on every single one of those, but...I have to go out, so I won't. HOWEVER, Justin is a stitch in his own right~

    And I'm thrilled you're regular~

    You have NO FREAKIN' STREET CRED~you weigh 45 pounds soaking wet (ok may 47 now that you've had another baby)~

    And you KNOW everyone is busily doing the pregnancy math on the first son~

    Potguts ARE sexy~I have to borrow Justin's as Steven's lost his :( ; Steven still has better thighs!!!

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  2. Justin has better thighs. Sorry Darlin'.

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  3. Great list. Hell, I'm just happy to know you were a Mustang driver. No Cobra? Dang.

    Scrabble? Hhmmm....love that game

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  4. There must be a way to have a "leg off" .....

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  5. hehe good list :-) I wnjoyed it...THey are always fun ways to gain insight into someone else.

    Cheers!

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  6. 48. I write novels about all the things my evil alter-ego would do if the world were a little different.

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  7. That was so much fun!! I love lists like this...

    Happy 100th post!!

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  8. Very much enjoyed your list. Happy 100!

    BTW- why where bras? I only do when I go out in public and even then I will where a tank with a shelf bra.

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  9. Hi Becky

    Marvelouse, really enjoyed. Nice. Plenty of time you have spent to write down all these specifications.

    Wish you fresh.
    Amir

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