Monday, January 30, 2006

Get Yours Today!

As part of my complex and sometimes irrational code of morality I refuse to buy any product that is touted as a "system".


You and I know that all "systems" are sold on infomercials and when that pans out they get stocked on the shelves of your closest Wallyworld.

No, I don't need a mopping system, or a jogging system, or a hair brushing system, or a breast enhancement system, or an egg peeling system. OK, I might need the breast enhancing system.

I want to know what it is about these simple contraptions that are systematic exactly? Oh, I know! It's the payment system! Four payments of $19.99 plus shipping and handling...but wait...call in the next 24 years and we'll take off a payment! That's one month less of feeling systematically screwed.

While shopping this weekend my son purchased a rather large magnifying glass. Many tasks can be accomplished with this handy little device but we all know what he purchased...an ant decimating system. I also made some purchases which I will list.

  • A bunch of silk flowers = fairy costume trimming system

  • A tablet of carbon paper = hand drawn image transferring system

  • Raisin Bran = vitamin enriched colon cleansing system

  • A baby gate = curious infantile possible danger blocking system

  • Birthday candles = yearly lung capacity checking system

  • Deodorant = body odor suppressing system

I feel more important and savvy now.


Anyone ever wonder how this man ever managed to breed?

8 comments:

  1. I believe that's called "incest", Becky. :) Or rape. Ok, Now i'm disturbing myself. I just mean no one normal would willingly--ok, I'm sure you get it.

    We have a whole case of breast enlargement pills, if you want some. (It's possible that my husband's brother was selling them for a while, and we're storing his unused supplies. NO, I have not taken them. I doubt they actually work.)

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  2. tampons = plug that you need to replace every hour on the hour system

    midol PMS = stop the cramps and keep you from killing your husband system.

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  3. oh lol. First (and probably only) laugh of the week.
    Internet = work suppression system
    Chocalote = diet destruction system.
    I agree with your stand!
    Dantares

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  4. Great post Becky, just what I needed to jump start my day!

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  5. hahaha...this is good I hate systems too. Is that the Popeil guy?

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  6. Think of all the time people waste watching those infomercials & how much more productive their time would have been if they instead spent it reading blogs!

    With your interest in costumes you ought to check out the work uniform of Paul, owner of Desert Oasis Bookstore in Quartzsite, AZ. I posted a photo of he & I on my blog this morning that shows his outfit.

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  7. Lisa...fork em over.

    Nytro and Dantares...he he. Systems...

    Thankee Meredith

    Yes Jerry, that is Ron Popeil and his limp noodle.

    Will do Dick.

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  8. Hah! Dick, that picture is awesome. If you're reading this and haven't clicked the link in Dick's comment, DO IT NOW.

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