Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Asparagasms

Gah! I've done worked myself up again participating in an online debate on why most men aren't shit. It's killing my funny! I don't have a shoebox to bury my funny in!

What gets me most is that one of these male bashers IS a man. Wah? My head simply isn't stretchy enough to wrap itself around that one. I wonder how he escaped the genetic pool of poo that he declares most men crawled out of?

Besides that, if I insist, repeatedly, that I'm funnier than my husband is or ever will be ever...and he's male and therefore shit...is that such an accomplishment afterall? Yay, I'm funnier than a turd!

Nevermind...I think farts are funny. 'Nuff said.

***

If you haven't had enough toilet humor, I'll lay some more on you.

I've been ever so blessed to enjoy some of the most tender and succulent asparagus that god has seen fit to bestow unto my local grocery store for purchase. $1.29 a pound! It's been ever so lovely.

To enjoy this asparagus properly it's best prepared in March's Bestest Housewifely Doodad!


Me loves the adjustable vegetable steamer!

By gently placing this doodad into the pot of your choice, adding water and simmering with the lid on, you too can have perfectly tender/crisp veggies bursting forth with much needed vitamins and minerals! Don't boil your carrots to a mush...coddle them with a day in a sauna...before you slather them with butter, chew them to a pulp and swallow them.

Veggie steamers come with a convenient handle that you may grasp to retrieve your bounty of colon cleansing fiber without spilling it all over the counter. Those veggie steamer designers are always thinkin'.

Apparently the veggie steamer is dishwasher safe, because I chucked it in there and it didn't melt or disinegrate. Stainless steel is a wonder!

Justin purchased my steamer for me, so I'm unsure of how much it costs. It probably wasn't a thousand bucks.

Asparagus makes your pee fragrant.

Thank you adjustable vegetable steamer, I like you, I really like you.

7 comments:

  1. You're very funny!

    Justin is...uh...um...funnier sometimes (I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you)

    I refuse to sign this on the grounds that I may get murderfied.

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  2. You know what? You, madam, suck! LOL.

    And your husband is in the middle of a snowstorm today. Tell him to go roll in the snow nekkid.

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  3. I don't love bashing men.

    But I do love asparagus. In fact we grilled some last night after brushing a little sesame oil and soy sauce on those suckers. Heaven. The fragrant pee is just a bonus.

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  4. It is an interesting looking doodad but since my cooking abilities are pretty much limited to Papa Murhpy's pizza and Nally's chilli & I don't see how that doodad would help me cook them, I will probably pass on buying one, eve at less than $1000.

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  5. After my sinner of asparagus a couple of weeks ago, my baby was peeing asparagus as well. You probably didn't want to know that.

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  6. Oh I meant dinner. Freaudian slip?

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