Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Good to the last drop.

I have so many thoughts about my visit into Utah County, aka Happy Valley, that pooling them together to present my readers and other hangers on with something coherent is difficult. I want to pour written concrete and all I'm getting in verbal green jello.

Unfortunately I don't have a fart story to share this time. I did try very hard to do what was necessary to inspire a good fart story to but no avail. I grabbed my all of my sister's posteriors on Easter Sunday though. We are so close that way.

I think I can sum up my visit into Happy Valley with this little story.

On our way out of the Valley we stopped by an Orem chain restaurant to have lunch. Next to our table were seated four middle aged women. They were single-mindedly involved in discussing all the gossip going on in their ward. (Ward = a mormon congregation.) The talk wasn't outright venemous, as that would have been rude, but it was terribly catty. In between discussing whose grandson was going on a mission and whose baby was being blessed next Sunday there was talk of whose baby's parents weren't married and who was leaving the church because of adultery. Heads were constantly shaking in wonderment over the behavior of some people!

Thankfully having my children with me curbed temptation. I so wanted to start a loud enough to overhear conversation about anal sex and coffee enemas. Shocking them into silence would have been a welcome blessing (and the topic of their next chain restaurant lunch date, I'm sure.)

Maybe next time.


  1. You disappoint me! Couldn't you have used words the young 'uns wouldn't have picked up on to get the old biddies attention? Something along the lines of "Hershey Highways, etc"? I've failed you somewhere, grasshopper. We'll need to talk....

  2. I would probably not do well in Happy Valley nor perhaps in the whole state of Utah. I bet there is a real shortage there of mocha places. I need my daily fix! Is Starbucks present in Utah? Do the restaurants serve coffee? Are the border towns, near other states, better equiped with mocha shops/stands?

  3. Which would be more shocking to the biddies—taking caffeine into the body (through whichever end), or taking a phallus into an orifice that doesn't involve baby-making?


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