Friday, May 19, 2006

I am Jack's AWOL hormones.

There are lots and lots and lots of reasons that I hated using hormonally based birth control methods. On the top of that list is that most of the time I felt like a fembot with man made progesterone at the control panel. I did not feel shag-a-licious. I had no mojo.

I haven't had to use hormonally based birth control since I had a tubal last September. Being off birth control felt good. In fact I had never felt so good!

...but now I'm feeling fembot-ish again. It ain't because of the machine guns in my fluffy pink maribou bra either.

I suspected something was up two months ago. I've written about my postpartum hair shedding after having rugape #3. It's perfectly normal to shed hair after having a baby! I've shed after having my first two babies! It's definitely not normal to continue shedding hairs all over when your baby is eleven months old. It's also not normal suddenly shed one's libido.

I suspected my thyroid. Having your thyroid turn zombie after childbirth is pretty common. I looked up the symptoms online. While two or three fit, the others didn't fit at all. Sigh...something is not right.

This week I had a hot flash.

Yeah, hot flash...

I had a fembot come to me in a dream after my hot flash and direct me to google where I could investigate the symptoms of early menopause. I'm not kidding about the dream...I woke up knowing exactly where I should go. That's where I found a list of symptoms.

Irregular periods....check
Infertility...well yeah, I had a tubal...check
Hot flashes and night sweats....check check
Skin changes...check
Hair loss and thinning...check
Increase in facial hair...holy mother of god am I growing a beard, check
Mood swings...check
Memory lapses, brain fog, lack of concentration....check check check

And a bunch of other symptoms we can check but are a little TMI to be included on this list.

In other words, I've got EVERY symptom....some in spades. (The brain fog bothers me especially. Every word is on the tip of my tongue. I've had to stop and google the definitions of words, twice during this post, just so I can peel the damned word on the tip of my tongue! How apt is my blog title???)

I wouldn't mind it so much if I were fifteen years older but I'm 31. The last thing I want to do at my advanced age is to begin menopause.

I was told when I was contemplating my tubal that this might happen. I, of course, did not think it could happen to me! My mom had a tubal and none of this happy crappy happened to her! Apparently a tubal can interrupt blood flow to the ovaries and then the ovaries get angry, stomp off to their rooms and slam their doors.

Back to the touchy feely OB/GYN for me. I have to anyway. It's getting close to pap schmear time! I so look forward to pap schmears. I'm going to make my appointment shortly after the kids get out of school for the summer and get everything poked and prodded. I might even take a shower for the occasion. There is nothing like being squeaky clean.


  1. Ack! I didn't know a tubal could invite menopause in. When my IUD expires, I'll get another one. Hot flashes would make me so cranky.

  2. It's a small possibility. Most women that have had tubals have no issues.

    Lucky me...I think I'll head down to the casino!

  3. By starting menopause early will it end much earlier, or will it last a long time? Maybe there could be some advantage to getting it out of the way, if it doesn't go into an extended version. I don't think 25 years of menopause would be much fun. Although my exposure to it was second hand and Annie rarely complained about anything.

  4. This just sucks sweaty donkey balls.

  5. I too am Peri-menopausal!
    Yeah ... early menopause SUCKS!
    I was diagnosed in my early 30's.
    31 to be exact.

    I'm not sure if your tubal brought it on, but I know for me, it did not. I only had my tubal last year.
    What I have noticed is that my symptoms have gotten worse, and THAT pisses me off!

    Oh, and according to what i've been told, it does NOT end any earlier either.
    Welcome to the next 20-30 years of hell.

  6. I didnt have a tubal but I went through early menapause. NO doctor would believe me for YEARS until I finally had one run a blood test and by then I was 41. I finally got some relief with hormone therapy and I will KILL any doctor that tries to take my hormones away! LOL You forgot Bitchy as hell...major symptom...well for me anyway (see mood swings)

  7. Yipes!!!

    What us women must go through, it is not fair compared to men!

    By the way, love that word, fembot.

  8. Barbara...I wanted to reply to you especially.

    I LOVE your blog, I do! I love discussion and debate! I've found myself not leaving as many comments on it as I should because while I can get my mind around the concepts, I CAN'T VOICE THEM as well as I think I should, as well as I used to!

    Just now I was in a debate forum trying to get across the idea that marital love isn't unconditional...except I couldn't think of the word "unconditional" How else do you describe that concept without the word?


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