Sunday, May 28, 2006

Sam I am, that Sam I am!

Yesterday we took our 120 mile (240 round trip) jaunt into Salt Lake County so we can enjoy the traffic and the conspicuous consumerism.

OK OK, we HAD to go to Sam's Club. We needed to buy table salt in bulk. I got a four pound box for 87 cents. Sam's Club was monstrously busy. People, sample day at the bulk warehouse isn't free lunch day. Get your melty chili con queso dip in the little plastic cup and then continue on your way! Don't block the meat trough counter while you savor your free processed cheese food product. And for god's sake, PUT YOUR LITTLE PLASTIC CUP IN THE TRASH CAN! They are all over the stinkin' Sam's Club. You can't turn around without running into one. Don't put your little cheese stained cup in the soda can holders on the lid of the industrial sized camping coolers. Were you born in a barn?

Then we bought two cartloads of groceries at Walmart. There are times when we save so much in groceries that it justifies the amount we spend in gas. Walmart wasn't nearly as insane which is unusual. Isn't Walmart always insane? Don't look a gift horse...

I went into Sear's and TJ Maxx for summer blouses. Who decided that women's blouses should be so short? I'm long waisted. Short blouses mean I show the effects of three pregnancies off to the world. I managed to find nice blouses at Sam's for over half the price...and a nice skirt. I'm proud to say that I'm now one size away from my prepregnant size! The button down blouses I really wanted are going to have to be sewn at home.


To end our trip we stopped for burgers at Carl's Jr. Our kids we're close to insane from the strain of being told for hours that they must act like gentlemen...and Carl's Jr. has an indoor playground. This playground was more disgusting than most. I forgave them because it also lacked the insidious ball pit of catsup soaked french fry death.

The kids played until our food came and then they were told to sit and eat. Finish the food and then go back and play. One of the new playmates my 7 year old befriended couldn't grasp the concept and visited our table repeatedly. At one point he looked at me with wide eyes and said, "You know what??! If I jump off a talllllllll cliff I might get a bloody nose!"...and then he puts his finger in his nose. I agreed with him wholeheartedly and fed another very healthy french fry to my baby.

I shouldn't complain. Once it was my kid that shut down the playplace. He was four and absolutely would not come out of the ball pit when it was time to leave. They don't size those playgrounds such that a parent can climb in, grab their misbehaving children and drag them out of the McDonald's kicking and screaming. While I was threatening my child with death if he didn't come out right now, he did the unthinkable.

He wet himself in the ball pit.

I'm an honest parent. I told the nearest employee that my kid had an accident in the ball pit. She rolled her eyes at me and said, "We gotta shut it down now!" I chose not to stick around for that part and snuck out.

That's the reason they tell you to take off your shoes at the indoor playgrounds. You might ruin them in the peepee ball pit.


  1. We ate recently at a place called Polly's. I was facing a group with a mother and daughter, who was about 9 years old (old enough to know better). While I watched, she poured ketchup on her french fries, then stuck her tongue INTO the french fry bottle. Her mother saw her, briefly admonished her, wiped the OUTSIDE with a PAPER NAPKIN, closed it and put it back in the holder with the rest of the condiments. She didn't bother to tell the waitress. Ugh.

    CLOSE THE PEE PIT. I'd rather let my kids wait while they clean it. My husband doesn't want to use ketchup in restaurants anymore. :D


  2. I should fix that: into the KETCHUP bottle. JEEZ.

  3. Closing the pit...that takes a fair amount of skill ;-) a former teenage McDonalds employee, I can say that more than once I got stuck cleaning up after the kids...I shudder everytime I think about it ;-(


  4. I was going to suggest you solve the blouse fit problem by going to a seamstress I know of in Bendover, NV but then I noticed you thought of that yourself. You will probably get a better quality product, have more choice in style, fabric & color and the fun of making it yourself.

    I don't have to do the McDonald's thing very often but it still is about the favorite "restaurant" of all my grandkids, so when I'm with them. if I give them a choice, we often end up there. I guess I would rather go there than Chuck E Cheese's place for bad way too expensive pizza. That is their other favorite. I wonder how old they will be before they recognize what a real restaurant is?

    This weekend I introduced the older grand daughter to go kart racing. That is even more expensive than eating out!


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