Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Kid, stick to french fries...

I have a cute little backyard. I've got a patio set out there and a large rose bush and some pansies and a spot where I'm growing pumpkins and some lawn.

I often leave my sliding glass door open so my baby can toddle out there and play on the porch. He likes to pick the pansies. He used to like eating pansies... (Pansies are edible! Not that I let him sit there and eat pansies.)

He used to like eating pansies until he got his first taste of fine french cuisine living in his own backyard! I caught him gnawing on a rather large, not at all dead, definitely gooey, mostly likely uncooked, garden snail. Hold the garlic. Big grin on his face.

I have issues with this.

First of all, I live on the Salt Flats. Did no one tell my garden snails this fact? Snails and salt no mixey! Secondly, snails are sneaky ass creatures. They may move slow but they hide...in my pansies no less...They have paid me no rent. Thirdly, I can't put down a bowlful of beer to kill the garden snails without attracting casino patrons, teenagers or the neighbor's dogs. This bud's not for you. Fourthly, why are snails so derned appetizing looking!? I mean, who wouldn't pick one up and gnaw on it?

You wouldn't? Guess you don't take after me as much as my kid does.


  1. Hee...

    sorry, that's all i've got. gym + pool = brain dead. You funny lady.

  2. I was surprised to learn a few years ago from friends who owned a nice restaurant that the escargo they sold does not come to them in the shell. They have the shells, wash & reuse them, filling them with the slugs or whatever they are that becomes escargo. Anyway I always told Annie that I was sure they just used slugs, like from the yard. And you are right, they definately do not like salt!

    Just think of them as inexpensive escargo.

  3. only thing worse than a snail is slug...at least you have some warning by busting the shell first when you step on a snail barefooted....but a slug just oozes through the toes...blech!

  4. "This bud's not for you" HAAAhahhaa.. you break me up!!

  5. How funny! Now that little boy has taste. Snails and pansies, what a fabulous menu. AND it has a beer list....man I'm coming to your house, lol!

  6. Well at least he can fend for himself, if need be....


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