Monday, June 26, 2006

What's good for the goose...

Right at this very moment my husband is sitting near me watching "Weird Science". This movie has made teen boys all giddy since 1985. Who wouldn't be giddy over creating Kelly LeBrock out a couple bras and a spreadsheet program?

Apparently my husband wouldn't be giddy. He says Kelly LeBrock is no longer on the radar because she is not current. I say why does it matter? He says it does and that's final...go fix me a pot pie woman! Justin wants to know why I don't yak about the celebrities he currently defrags his hard drive over.

Fine then! (mumblemumbledamnmenmumble)

Do you know why Justin gets all giddy about Keira Knightley? It's because that young little twerp stole my body! Before I conceived and carried three babies (and therefore obtained a thousand stretch marks all over my tummy and thighs and butt and even between my toes) my bod looked just like this! I looked all bony and flatchested!

Except for the belly piercing...I dislike needles.

Oh Keira Knightley, you pirate riding tart! Why do you attract my husband so? Sorry, dumb question. She's English just like Kelly!

***

...and you thought this post was over.

In the interest of fairness and equality in marriage I'm going out on a limb and sharing my celebrity crushes. You readers and other hangers on must realize what kind of intimacies I'm sharing with you.


I admit it. I find Jon Lovitz sexy.

Nope, I'm not kidding.

Jon's brand of humor is both silly and so intense. He is witty and physically lithe. I like his lips. Hell, I like his whole head.

Oh Jon Lovitz, you wife pickle tickling bowhunk! Why am I so inexplicably drawn? Oh, that's right...It's because you spell your name without an H.

I don't spell my name with an H either.

9 comments:

  1. Oh, Bhecky! How can you find this man sexy?

    I'm looking and looking, and while yes, he has sense of humour, I see nary a glimse of anything "lithe" about his body.

    I am truly cohnfused.

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  2. becky you are pulling chain and it's not feeling that good...jon lovitz? why do I think his lips are wet 24/7?

    keira knightly to me, isn't attractive...something to do with her underbite.

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  3. In the words of Lt. Col. Slade in "Scent of a Woman"...

    "Hooah, I'm just getting warmed up!"

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  4. Keira Knightley looks awful thin & quite young. However, she is attractive but certainly is no Catherine Bell in the looks department.

    I learned long ago to not try to determine which guys are attractive to women, or why, so I'll pass on Jon lovitz, with or without his h.

    I am a good bit older than either you or Justin but I think my favorite Hollywierd person would be Goldie Hahn.

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  5. Having a body like Kiera's is nice, but in my opinion, have children is even better!!

    Enjoy your family.

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  6. LOL ... god my husband's obsession with Kiera Knightley. I'll admit she is beautiful in good lighting :P

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  7. OK, let's just get this straight - Keira Knightley (yeah, that's her REAL name... rrrrright....) is a talentless bag of bones with scary vampiresque lower teeth that jump out and threaten you when she talks.

    From a 3/4 profile shot she looks vaguely attractive, as long as her mouth is shut, but damn it - once she speaks, it's VAMPIRELLA CITY. Igh.

    As for Jon L.... he's all yours, baby! I'm holding out for Vincent D'Onofrio.

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