Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Today I had the pleasure of registering my twelve year old little boy for JUNIOR HIGH.

He nearly melted down this morning because of the excitement of getting a locker. When we did get his locker number and combination, he ran to it...the same way he'd run toward the ice cream truck if the damned truck actually came to my block instead of staying in the neighborhood by the golf course.

I know his combination. I'm gonna break in there from time to time and hang fruit scented tree shaped air fresheners. Maybe I'll leave a note in there that says, "Remember, your mother loves you!" with all kinds of sparkly hearts and smiley faces on it. All the cool boys have mothers that leave them sappy notes, right? Covers up the Sports Illustrated bikini ladies.

Next week he'll have his first experience in a gym class that requires a locker room. I don't envy him in this. When I was his age and changing for gym class, I was udderly embarrassed because I lacked the proper equipment...namely a bra. I'm sure my son doesn't want a bra for gym class but will the embarrassment be reversed when he goes to wear his first jock strap? I hope he doesn't put the thing on backwards.

I am not in charge of teaching the kid about jock straps, thank god. Justin is responsible for that role and as such I'm prevented from writing "Remember, your mother loves you!" on it.

That's what Dads are for.


  1. Ah, the famed pickle-dish ... good for nothing but stink.

    I wonder if he'll be as excited by the SECOND week of high school? Probably not. Poor lad. It's never as good as anticipated. I hated high school with a passion. Good luck, kiddo.

  2. I bet he will like being able to move about & change classes every hour or so. They start to feel so much more grown up.

    I think Dad's always end up being the ones to tell their sons about things like jock straps, alcohol, condoms, etc. I'd bet you will willing let him have those duties.

  3. you and I would have so much to share...I did cartoon's on both my daughter's and son's brown bag lunches the whole time they were in grade school...because I made the lunches and I'm the cartoony one in the family...generally it was about whatever they were doing that week a big test or a field trip...they loved daughter saved a ton of them...damn we laugh about that now.

    torture them it's fun (for everyone)

  4. I was going to comment but whatever I was going to say was completely erased from my brain after reading the other comment which refers to the jockstrap as the pickle dish. Pickle dish!? I've honestly never heard that before! But I'm going to giggle about it for a while.

  5. Pickle dish in news to me, too.

    I'm guessing we all know his locker combination now, too.

    I'm writin' it down in case you guys forget...or, if I happen to be in town for a Wayne Newtonish type of bash and realize I left my pickle dish at home.


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