Thursday, August 17, 2006

Welcome to Nevada ya bastards!

It's strange living in the little corner of Nevada casino hell that I live in.

I've talked before about this town being on the border with Utah and about our sole existence basically being a place for Utahns to sin. Because I like the town, and the slowwwwwww speed in which I live, whenever I'm out in public with the tourists the travel agent in me comes out.

Justin and I went to buffet for dinner last Monday. (The catfish was excellent.) Our favorite weekday buffet has a dessert bar that hosts no less than a dozen different varieties of cheesecake, plus cakes, cookies, pies, jello, custards. You name it, they gots it, pretty much. The server at the bar hands you whatever your heart desires, that's if your heart desires dessert. Non locals have a very difficult time deciding. I offer suggestions so I can get my slice of tiramisu or custard soaked, whipped cream topped, heavy white cake all the faster. Yes, I've tried all the desserts. It IS a buffet afterall.

I am Dessert Ambassador! (Ambassadress?)

"Ma'am, the pecan cheesecake is divine."
"Sir, they will certainly heat your slice of peach pie for you."
"What's that? Why it's orange cranberry cheesecake with a crumb topping! Yes, it's very very good."
"It's not fattening...really....look at me. I eat this all day!"
"Dammit, get the damned carrot cake already!"

Besides buffet my town now offers new entertainment. The casino gods have built a 900 seat concert hall right on the drag. I haven't seen any Osmonds show up yet, but I am rather excited to go see...

WAYNE NETWON!
...on September 22nd.



Danke schein you barrel chested man beast!

And thanks for shaving off that mustache too.

I'm preparing to throw panties at Wayne with my phone number written on them. Yes, they will be clean...and very large. It's safer than throwing a can of Aqua Net.

Oh Wayne Newton, why am I so inexplicably drawn? Oh that's right, it's because he's Mr. Las Vegas and I'm Bendover's Only Showgirl. We gotta represent, yo.

7 comments:

  1. One of the casinos in my town offers a Senior Buffet on Mondays for $4.95 plus sales tax. If you belong to their "Players Club" (free, you just have to sign up for it) you are also given a script for $5 worth of slot machine play. If you don't play it but just cash it in, you have gotten a great buffet lunch for less than the price of the sales tax! It is also one of the better buffets in the area.

    I have tickets to go see Elvis, Buddy Holly & Ritchie Valens on the 31st at one of the other local casinos. I saw this Elvis before & he is pretty good. This time I plan to take my camera.

    You ought to get them to put you on the payroll.

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  2. There is no dessert besides creme brulee. I'm sorry, that's just how it is.

    Bo

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  3. Two peas in a pod? Well, the large panties should def. attract his attention....

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  4. Chuckle, Chuckle. Funny post. Being a vegetarian, buffets are usually not worth it to me. I do get my fill of salad and dessert though.

    Do you have a any stores like Target or Walmart out there?

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  5. Walmart? Target? Kmart? Nooooooooo.

    They are building another major casino property out here. We are hoping that will increase interest for one of those stores to come. At one point Kmart was considering it but then they declared bankruptcy. Since then Sear's has purchased Kmart and we hope.

    Our mayor is a great lady and she's really working to bring those things here. A Kmart would mean that more people would move here and work...not just at the casinos but at the potash and salt mines.

    The problem with Walmart is that it's labor base is the same labor base that's working at the casinos for twice what they are willing to pay plus benefits. No one is going to work at a Walmart when they can do about the same work at a casino and get paid and treated better.

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  6. ... suddenly I have a craving for orange cranberry cheesecake with a crumb topping ...

    ... check the 'file to fit' blog for a reply to your linux query (oOo, odd-word-combo alert - say that fast five times) ... the Department of Redundancy Department won't allow me to re-post here ...

    ... how's the gams ? ...

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