Tuesday, September 12, 2006

How to clean a crock pot

1. Notice by the smell that the crock pot you left soaking "overnight" is probably done soaking and needs cleaning. Curse under your breath.

2. Carefully remove the lid and admire the science project inside. Curse louder.

3. Run boiling hot tap water, flip the disposal switch, hold crock pot as far away from your body as possible and upend contents into the sink.

4. Gag.

5. Spray the inside of the crock pot liberally with the sink sprayer, while holding your body as far away from the sink as possible. Spray anyone that remarks, "What is that smell?"

6. Spray apple cinnamon scented air freshener. It's supposed to mimic the aroma of Grandma's homebaked apple pie but all you get is Mom's special science project scented apple pie.

7. Put on your pink rubber gloves. Dribble your favorite dish cleaning liquid into the crock pot and attack with your Dobie. Notice that the sink area now smells like Mom's lemon fresh science project apple pie.

8. Add a hefty sprinkle of cleanser. Stick tongue out of mouth while you scrub off the baked on bits.

9. Notice that not only can you smell the sink area but you can now taste it.

10. Fumble with the soap slippery crock pot and drop it. It magically skirts the edge of the sink and drops to the floor, nearly missing your big toe. Curse so loud it scares the cat.

11. Leave indestructible crock pot where it is while you mop up the greasy suds that have sprayed all over your impractical white linoleum. Mop as quickly as you can before the baby toddles into the kitchen to stick his fingers in the bubbles and subsequently into his mouth.

12. Resume scrubbing. Realize that dropping your crock pot has loosened the baked on bits and the rest of the cleaning goes rather smoothly.

13. Check to make sure there isn't too much goo on the hi/lo knob.

14. Rinse with your sink sprayer. Spray anyone that asks, "What's for dinner?"

15. Venture to the clean laundry pile to find a kitchen towel to dry the crock pot with. Notice the pair of jeans in the pile that haven't fit you for several years in which you still haven't managed to fold and put away.

16. Dry crock pot and stash in the cubboard with the rest of the near useless appliances. Feel sense of accomplishment while vowing not to ever use the crock pot again.

17. Order take out.


  1. Wow, and here I am trying to get started cooking more meals at home, including using the crock pot! I'm not sure I want to do it following that sequence. Of course I don't have to worry about a toddler wandering in but I do have a cat. I was hoping to eliminate step 17.

  2. Next time, where steel-toe boots.

  3. Wow, I love my crock pot! I do all sorts of weird things in it and most of them turn out edible.

    And STOP WHINING. You have long arms~I highly doubt you even smelled it.


  4. Hill.air.e.us. Next time perhaps those crock pot liners?

  5. Geeez-us...I reckon' I'll just skip steps 1-16 and head directly to 17. Thanks for the heads up Becky :)

  6. I love your blog! It always gives me a good laugh. I love love love cooking in my crock pot, but I hate cleaning it!


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