Thursday, September 21, 2006

Lost in Publication

I subscribe to three magazines that are pertinent to my existence.

One is "Good Housekeeping". Dr. Pheel is usually on the cover.

Another is "Ladies Home Journal". Dr. Pheel and his wife Robyn are on the cover.

The third is "In Style". This time these are on the cover...

OK OK, that's not really what is on the cover, but that's all my husband saw! I doubt those are named Dr. Phil and Robyn.

I like In Style magazine as a seamstress. The magazine has excellent photos of couture. I can see the seams and the construction fairly well and then I feel giddy. This month Scarlett Johansson is on the cover. This month Justin feels giddy.

If you can manage to stop staring at those things what you and my husband might find is that Scarlett possesses a head.

Scarlett has said that she likes being curvy. Isaac Mizrahi, clothing designer and fabulous TV personality, also likes her being curvy. He couldn't help but cop a feel at the Golden Globes.

(That's Debbie Matenopolous acting all jealous and copping her own feel.)

I read this month's In Style thinking of which foundation garment would make the most of Scarlett's figure. I admit I wouldn't mind throwing her body into a wasp waist corset for kicks. Justin read this month's In Style thinking the exact same thing. We have a lot in common.

Oh Scarlett Johansson, you pearl earring dangling tart! Why do you attract my husband so? Sorry, dumb question, she can say more with a subtle facial expression than most people can even if they talked for hours.

I wonder what foundation garments would make the most of Dr. Pheel's figure?


  1. Now THAT'S a respectable pair of friends right there. Thanks.

  2. Dr. Phil's foundation garment? Why a foil helmet and a codpiece, of course!
    Ok, maybe he could wear a girdle. That pooch makes some of his detractors feel he's not in as good a shape as he should be for someone touting weight loss (I say they're jealous).

    I subscribe to ... Good Housekeeping, Redbook (just got my first magazine!), Oprah, Martha Stewart Living (OMG, you'd positively LOVE that book), and a regional magazine relevant to our area. Then my husband also gets Popular Mechanics, Time, and Science Digest. The household gets two that are non-denominational: Sunset and Western Living. We ruin a LOT of trees! Oh, and I get "Parents" magazine which is a huge pain in the ass, since I got it from some twit selling door-to-door, so she could go to England. One of those, "keep me off the street" things. I said I didn't want any more periodicals (do you wonder why?). So she said, "send it to someone else". I said, great, mark down to send it to a women's shelter or something. Alrighty, ma'am. ...

    Six weeks later the first magazine arrived, and I have no clue what to do with it since my children are all adults! The world is full of IDIOTS!


  3. So, has another one made Justin's Tart's list? I'll admit she has a couple of large points in her favor, but what do you think she will look like in 30 or 40 years? Do you remember the little old lady in the Playboy cartoons?

  4. Oh, boy oh boy, how I love that woman! As long as she doesn't steal Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, I'll continue to love her, too.

  5. Wait...why do you hate seahorses??

  6. Don't worry, your husband is safe from her....I'll volunteer to take one for the team, to make a sacrifice.....I'll have an affair with her for you. Gee, I'm such a good guy....

    ha ha

    My Blog

  7. who the hell cares

  8. My hubby says I am curvy, too. Just put those two things on my arse and you have my body type, minus the bounty up above.

  9. Scarlett J has bothered me not so far back as that Horse Whisper movie cuz she was only 12...but since Ghost World for sure....she's got talent too...what a combo.

  10. anonymous ...

    who the fuck asked you to read?

  11. I have to laugh at snotty little anonymous. Imagine having the time to read the post, open the comment window, type in all those words just to be an asshole and try to convince us he/she "doesn't care". It's amazing really.
    As for Doctor Phil's foundation garment... do they still make Iron Maidens? I'd like to see him wedged into one of those.... pardon the violent imagery. I'm just sayin'.

  12. Well, I, for one, kinda like that cover too.

    Beats that bald headed dude anyway.

  13. I missed it when Debbie M. was on the View. I appreciated the fact that she wouldn't up with any crap from Barb and the ladies. Now, I see her on E and she's just trying way too hard...

  14. Whoa. Now those are stylin'!

  15. I'm still laughing at the foil helmet and codpiece comment!

  16. Becky,

    The truth is out, you want to wrap Dr. Pheel!



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