Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Have a happy period...my butt...


Dear Mother Nature,

I am dissatisfied with the job you are doing.


I understand that you have very sound reasoning for causing a woman of childbearing age to bleed monthly, but why didn't you make the process of shedding one's uterine lining more simple?

My menstrual cramps are a bitch kitty and it's all your fault. Damn you.

I'm not feeling April fresh and it's all your fault. Damn you.

I have a three juicy pimples on my chin. Damn you.

My husband won't buy my tampons. Damn you!

All I want, Mother Nature, is to experience menses in a way that makes me feel more like a pretty pretty princess and less like a screaming undead Sam Kinison. Really, is that too much to ask?

I try to do my part Mother Nature. I don't litter. I don't use ozone destroying hairspray. I don't shoot at little birdies with BB guns. Give a little back!


Thank you for your time and consideration,

Becky
The Absent Minded Crampy Housewife

7 comments:

  1. jill the fav sis10/18/2006 12:52 PM

    I laugh in your general direction!!! I never have heard you say "bitch kitty" before. You must really be feeling like shit!

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  2. and Blogger eats comments.... apparently, if the comment is especially dumb, Blogger will eat them twice.

    Here's hoping this gets through.

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  3. AAAAY-men, sistah!!

    Next time, we should be designed with an on/off switch for childbearing purposes.

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  4. HA! Well, as long as she holds the rain off to let me get 18 holes of golf in today...I won't speak ill of her.

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  5. Try to enjoy it as in a few years you will get to experience menopause and no more periods. Does that sound like fun?

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  6. OMG, Becky. I could've written this post for you. What I'm bent out of shape about is the smiling face doctor who told me my debilitating cramps would be relieved once I had kids...THEY'RE WORSE. Gah...to be a woman.

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