Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, JOLENE!

I think it was the Christmas that I was 8 or 9 that my little sister and I were each given our own portable record players. The players were housed in a suitcase made of cardboard with a print on the front of a generic male and a generic female country western singers forever declaring that they are islands in the stream.

What got played most on our rhinestone portables was my mom's small record collection and my parent's stack of country western 45's. (I grew up on a horse can't expect any Jimi Hendrix LPs.) I was reared in lyrics bemoaning cheatin' spouses and reminiscing about a good dog.

Happening upon a YouTube video featuring Dolly Parton and Boy George recently gave me a hankerin' to power up Limewire and steal me some of them old songs so I can listen to them again. It took quite a bit of searching. Apparently my parent's taste in music isn't popular with the song stealing internet republic.

Mom had a couple Herb Alpert LPs. I remember looking at the cover of this album and wondering if that was really whipped cream or was it lots of soap. It was a very very dirty image in any case. She warn't wearing no underpants!

One of the albums had a recording of the Limbo song. We wore that one out. I think that one song prepared me for marriage.

I looked and looked at this album cover as a kid. The concentric rings made Johnny look meaner than hell.

It took courage just to remove the vinyl out of the sleeve. I wonder now if I should have played this record backwards.

Oh Mom....please forgive us for using up and spitting out your one Elvis LP! You could actually HEAR his pelvis singing directly to you....sigh....

My mom's album is nowhere near this pristine. I drew eyelashes on Elvis. It's covered in masking tape. I want an ascot.

My absolute favorite record in the bunch was a Dolly Parton 45 with a lovely version of "Light of a Clear Blue Morning" on the A side. For the life of me I cannot remember what is on the B side. This 45 was perfect to lip sync to. It started out slow and ballad-y and progressed to a beat you could really jiggle your fake jugs to. I won one or two lip sync contests doing just that, dressed in calico and a bad blonde wig. It takes a lot of rigging to keep your fake boobs from falling out of your costume when you are jiggling them that much.

Back to Limewire. I must download some Loretta Lynn.


  1. HA! My folks HAD that Herb Apert album, plus the goldfinger album with the chick painted gold!

    Died when I saw it here in your blog!

  2. we listened to A LOT of Herb Alpert I can still remember his version of "a taste of honey" being played really loud on my parents big-ass console stereo...this usually meant my parents were drinking with friends ove.r I can still hear my mom's drunk laugh while that song was playing. haha...these days I only hear my own drunk laugh.

  3. You always know just how bad the songs were if they are hard to find on Limewire. Conway Twitty anyone?

  4. Boy George and Dolly Parton. Not a pairing I would have ever thought of.

  5. D.G. is right, that sure sounds like the Odd Couple. I ended up throwing away a lot of LP albums when we moved up here. A few of the old ones, mainly Elvis, sold but no one wanted most of them so into the dumpster a couple of hundred of them went. I hated to do that but didn't have any place to keep them.

  6. Wow, that brought back memories. My parents had some of the same albums. I used to be intrigued by the whipped cream covered girl. I think "There" was on the flip side of "Light of a Clear Blue Morning".

  7. Jill the fav sister10/05/2006 9:09 AM

    oh Becky, the memories you just brought back. I recently looked for that Johnny Cash album and cannot find it. I bought the CD of King Creole, still one of my favorites. I think mom still has those record players, probably in the store room with all the xmas presents we give them that they don't need to use!

  8. My portable is at my house. It's got a short in it so the volume doesn't work well. It's either too quiet or really really loud.

  9. LOL! I remember lip syncing to Dolly when i was little too. My mom is a huge Dolly parton /Kenny Rogers/Jon Denver fan. Grew up on that stuff and don't ever want to hear it again!

  10. Oh My God! I'm feeling all nostaligic with a twinge of "thank god I wasn't imagining it" thrown in for good measure. My parents had the Goldfinger album as well as Herb Alpert and countless other albums which I'm sure were damaging to my prepubescent psyche.
    For fun, look up how many versions of Jolene have been made. I had a friend once who collected them. I think he's since been committed to a mental institution.


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