Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Down to Business

I hereby open this posting of AMHW. All who are reading this blog without any pants on say "aye"....

First on the agenda: Catherine Bell.

I think it's absurd that lately I've received a great many hits to my blog because I posted a photo of Catherine Bell in my third post, over 252 posts and a year and a half ago. Catherine Bell was my first Celebrity Tart (Check list in the sidebar.) and due to popularity I'm posting her photo again. Get a good gawk why don't ya.


Catherine Bell, you number #1 celebrity tart, why do you thrill the internets so? Oh, that's right, it's because I haven't posted any of my own bikini photos on the internet.

Don't hold your breath.

***

Second on the Agenda: Meme

I've been tagged by Domestic Goddess...She who liveth in the same Happy Valley that I moved away from so I could live in Nevada. Nevada doesn't require my fabulous mini van to have emissions testing.

Six Oddities About Myself that I'm Willing to Share with the World.

1. I fantasize about art cars.
You've seen them on TV, those cars with all kinds of crap glued all over them. I want to buy a Ford Pinto station wagon and glue sparkly stuff to it. I want to cover the seats with neon shag fur.

2. Pretzel.
I can put both my ankles behind my neck at the same time. It's a trick that I'm able to do, not because I'm limber, but because my legs are really long. This position doesn't make me look the least bit demure and shouldn't be attempted in public without pants on.

3. Procrastination or is it laziness?
I haven't had a haircut in over two years. Before I became pregnant with the 17 month old rug-ape sitting on my lap right now, I cut over sixteen inches off my mane and donated it to Locks of Love. I haven't had a trim since. My hair is very long and it needs a little maintenance.

4. I don't know what my kids look like.
I don't carry any photos of my children in my purse or wallet. There isn't any real reason for this. No one has ever asked to see photos of my children so I guess I'm off the hook. Nowadays people show you their photos of their children on their cell phones. My cell phone doesn't take photos. Hell, it's barely used to make calls.

5. Don't look at my history.
I've been known to surf the internets looking at photos of naked ladies to use as sketching and sculpting references. There are a LOT of naked ladies out there. Naked men too. Just a lot of nakedness all over. Nekkid nekkid nekkid.

6. What is that smell?
It's guaranteed that if I eat frozen burritoes with sour cream my digestive organs will throw a tantrum and you will not be able to be in the same room with me. I can eat these things separately and be fine, but put them together and the aftereffects will kill cockroaches.

It's moved that I tag George W. Bush for this meme.

***

Third on the agenda: Clingy Toddlers.

I've spent two hours writing this post because my 17 month old rug-ape is at a really clingy stage in his short life. I am a human jungle gym. In a half hour I will toss him into his crib for a nap...and I will shower and pee blissfully alone.

It is moved that I take up writing posts in the late evening instead of the morning...seconded...passed.

***

This posting is now adjourned.

4 comments:

  1. Catherine Bell is mighty fine but I really do prefer to look at real women. You in your bikini would be good but I won't hold my breath waiting for it. But you do look mighty good in your French maid costume.

    Your meme is interesting. I used to be able to do that with my ankles but can't anymore. I think with me it is because of loss of flexibility.

    Clingy Toddlers do grow up and then you will miss the clingyness. Enjoy it while he is young and willing to do that with Mom.

    Do you want some snow? We have too much of the stuff and I'd gladly give a bunch of it away.

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  2. without incriminating myself too much...I'm at times flabbergasted at how many people are willing to get naked in front of a camera...even the ones who should not for any reason take off their clothes EVER.

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  3. The toddler monkey phase...we both get a good workout. Today he walked into a pile of bird diarrhea. For this reason I was not wearing pants until just a few minutes ago. Just missed me...

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  4. thanks for playing along. Wouldn't it be a hoot if our lovely President actually did take you up on your tag!!

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