Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Bazongas

Why yes, I'm on 25 peeps again. Please click the nice linky to keep me on.

This occurence fits in nicely with the adolescent theme I've had going on in here the last two posts. I've had much traffic already because the photo I chose this time prominently features my enormous fake boobies!

One would assume I got some stealthy plastic surgery because I'm built like the Bonneville Salt Flats, wherein which I live...but one would be wrong.




I'm modeling these!





I find what people say about flatchested women particularly interesting. Their assumptions manage to wiggle out of their brains and past their lips, right to my ears.

1. "More than a handful/mouthful/teacup is a waste."
This only makes me feel good because I DO try to do my part when it comes to conservationism...even if it's unwittingly. Wouldn't it just be awful to be one of those wasteful women?

2. "Your nipples must be more sensitive!"
Compared to whose? Frankly, I wouldn't know. I've never had anyone else's nipples. I won't have a basis of comparison until my nipples begin shooting lightning bolts.

3. "I know you must be wild in the sack to make up for what you lost on top!"
Keep on with that fantasy buddy. Between you and me, I just lie there and let my extra sensitive nipples do all the work. Zap...zap zap...smoke...

4. "You must be intelligent!"
Why yes, I am. This is not because my body spent time developing brain cells instead of breast tissue. Big boobs doth not equal dumb either.

5. "How did you manage to breastfeed with those?"
Very well, thanks. Moo.

6. "Don't you feel like a boy sometimes?"
Nope. When I suddenly grow a penis I might feel like a boy...maybe...but until then I can rest assured that my DNA has caused me to be decidely female. Giving birth three times really made me feel female.

7. "Don't you hate shopping in the little girl section of the store for underwear?"
Yes I do...so I don't. Other small breasted women exist and therefore there is a whole rack of bras in the women's lingerie section featuring smaller brassieres! God help me if I ever buy another Mary Kate and Ashley bra...

And there you have it. Ittee Bittee Tittees and the myths that make up for the size. Thanks for visiting my site if you've come from 25 Peeps! Thanks for visiting my site if you didn't come from 25 Peeps!

5 comments:

  1. Jill the fav sis12/13/2006 2:26 PM

    How come our sisters got bigguns but we didn't????? Must of come from Dad's side of the family, look at our aunts!! At least mine are still bigger than yours! I must have hit yours harder during our puberty years. What about buttzilla???????

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  2. Becky...You are hysterical. I'm on 25peeps too! I'm the chick with the busted up leg. We kind of run in the same circle of friends, (Blogaritaville, Bowl Full of Jerry's, etc.) and DAMN! I was like...check HER boobs out!

    Whew. So relieved it was a pillow, doll, because frankly...it looked painful!

    Good luck on Peeps!

    CP.

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  3. Becky,

    You are the bomb and have the most wild sense of humor. It is surely appreciated, especially this time of year.

    Happy Holidays to you and your family.

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  4. I'm overwhelmed. Boobs, no boobs, boobs that lay in repose (oops, those are my boobs). Are my nipples bloody? Should I consider a sanitary cup, pad, tampon, bandaid for my menestrating nipples? Save me.

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  5. Well, I am kind of at a loss as to what to say. I probably have uttered a version of your #1 assumption that goes something like, "What can you do with more than a handful" and there is some truth to that. I think the smaller ones tend to age more gracefully than the larger ones and for us guys who like to stay with one woman for the long term that is kind of important. To me they are all pretty much attractive, regardless of their size. I don't have them so they are fun.

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