Monday, December 18, 2006

Choxie choxie full of moxie

I got hit on in Target on Saturday.

(Is that why they call the place Target?)

I would have much preferred being hit on by tall, dark and handsome. Muscles are arbitrary. IQ would be nice. Someone with a deep smooth voice and long sooty eyelashes. Someone with a really huge...vocabulary. Someone with an excellent credit score...

Instead I got hit on by a middle aged woman. Right near the aisle with all the shoe racks and closet inserts.

"Ma'am, can I ask you a question?"...says the not tall, not dark, not handsome lady, leaning into me, fluttering her sorta sooty lashes.

"Sure!" I thought she was going to ask my opinion on clothes hangers. NO WIRE HANGERS!

"Do you use Mary Kay?"

"Why no I don't. I don't use anything!" Couldn't she tell I was naturally natural? No, I don't need a speck of foundation, not a lick of mascara. Yup, Target.

"Would you like a facial?"

"Not especially!" Translated: My Mommy told me not to take candy from strangers.

"You look so nice. (flutter flutter) I'm working toward a car..."

I didn't assume this woman was psychic. I informed her that I live out in the boonies and that I drove 120 miles just to come to Target.

She looked at me funny.

I know she's heard interesting refusals before...you have to expect that when you hit on people in Target...You have to expect that when you are foisting Mary Kay at the unsuspecting...but at least I was telling the truth!

I could have expanded on this truth and asked what her credit score was. Afterall, she wanted to fondle me. I need a little proof of commitment for that sort of thing.

2 comments:

  1. I seem to remember a certain someone rubbing my bum!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought this was going to be a post on Chocolate... I love Choxie.

    Mary Kay has some great skin care products. Time Wise cleasner and moistutizer. My sister is 1 1/2 years younger than me and lookes about six years older. It really works wonders. (and no I don't work for Mary Kay)

    Have a great Christmas.

    ReplyDelete

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