Monday, January 08, 2007

I am that I am

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF BATHROOM USE AS IT PERTAINS TO THE BOY CHILDREN LIVING IN MY HOME.

1. Thou shalt not pee anywhere but in the toilet bowl.

2. Thou shalt not clean up dribbled pee with the clean towels or the bathroom rugs.

3. Thou shalt not wad up toilet paper, wet it and then throw it upon the bathroom ceiling.

4. Thou shalt not forget to spray air freshener when thou has caused a foul odor.

5. Thou shalt not forget to thoroughly wipe thou's posterior, therefore staving off undesireable brown streaks in thy underwear.

6. Thou shalt not take excessively long showers when hot water is required by other members of the family.

7. Thou shalt not blow snot rockets in the sink and bathtub and not clean it up.

8. Thou shalt not forget to flush, especially after thy huge dump.

9. Thou shalt not touch every fixture in the bathroom with thy muddy hands in search of the bathroom sink.

10. Thou shalt not mistake spray bathroom cleaners, or spray personal hygiene products, for water pistols and stage a duel.


So let it be written, so let it be done.

9 comments:

  1. I love it! I'm posting this in my bathrooms....if I could get my boys to stick to this, life would be golden. You don't mind me stealing it, do you? ;) I love your blog and your 'tude -- it's good to "meet" you!

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  2. It may be written, but I wonder how well it will be done. Moses had it written down and it still is not follow by a majority of followers. Good luck!

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  3. Oh, my face is permanently twisted into an "EWWW". Thank god I only have one boy and he lives here with 2 women. He's out numbered and so doesn't attempt these things or perhaps he hasn't discovered them yet. Snot rockets. If I told him about this he'd kill himself trying to figure out how it's done.

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  4. See how much fun you would be missing out on if you had three girls instead?

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  5. How funny. The only thing I have to say is "AMEN!"

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  6. Oh, thank god. I thought my kid was the only one that "blew snot rockets" and left them for his sister to find.

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  7. I could use a copy of that--and an Enforcer, if you have a spare...

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  8. the streaks come right out of the underwear with murphy's oil soap applied directly on.

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  9. Those are awesome commandments! I can't wait to get married and have kids just so that I can post those conspicuously in the lavatory. Thanks for a fantastic idea!

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