Monday, January 29, 2007

I'm going to my potty-potty. If my friends could see me now!

Potty training.

Dooce wrote about it recently. It's been the subject of discussion at another forum I visit. I've been exposed to this bit of potty-time anime...

I'm a potty-training lemming...I'm going to jump off the cliff too. It won't be long until I strip my son naked for months on end and attempt the process again.

Good thing I'm a seasoned potty trainer when it comes to boys. I understand how to use a boy's natural inclination to point, shoot and make the appropriate sound effects. This is why I trained my older boys in sort of a violent manner.

They hit the duck! Chugga chugga pow pow pow whirrrrrr! DIE DIE DIE!!

It's a slow death for the sacrificed rubber ducky. First, the duck gets noosed, the other end tied to the toilet hinge. This prevents the duck from dying a merciful and toilet clogging death by being flushed. Then, the duck is subject to water torture, as it's become a bright smiley yellow target. (Alright duck, where did you hide my keys? Fess up you rubber deliquent! I'll teach you to stay silent!) Flush...ducky gets a refreshing whirlpool bath.

Eventually the ducky becomes obsolete and it's unceremoniously tossed in the trash, noose and all. Ducky has pleased the potty training gods. (Keys still lost.)

I've been told that tossing a few cheerios into the bowl serves the same purpose. I would think it would only serve to confuse. Do you eat the cheerios or do you take a great big pee on them? Are cheerios still edible post potty use? Mmmmmm cheerios with sliced bananas. Bananas are phallic....

Apparently the use of a ducky, or cheerios, doesn't matter in the least when you are attempting to toilet train your cat. Observe...

That cat looks thrilled.

To enhance my toilet training skills, I once purchased the "Once Upon A Potty" companion video. It....was....annoying. I gave it to my little sister. I'm sure she appreciates it.


  1. I now have two girls potty trained... and yet I still know NOTHING about potty training. I suck at it.

  2. Funny posts!

    I am blog surfing to find mothers to contribute to a new e-magazine that I am developing called Mother to Mother. Go to for details. We are always looking for new articles, photos, product testers, etc.

  3. I guess I don't remember much about the toilet training of our two. Do you mean that it doesn't just happen naturally?

  4. Jill the fav sis1/30/2007 2:30 PM

    Thanks a lot for that damn video! "I am going to the potty, potty!" is forever stuck in my head when I am using the potty myself!! I just wait to potty train until after they know +how to change their own diaper. Just kidding!

  5. Thank you for sharing that creepy potty anime -- I needed the laugh! My favorite part is the smiling, dancing poop swirling around the bowl.... :)

    WOW, am I glad I've got all the potty training behind me. Good luck with that -- and have loads of fun! NOT!

  6. My first ex-husband had to train the boy; the girl trained herself at 9 months of age. I did not potty train a soul! Yippee! I've been spared the horror!


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