Thursday, February 08, 2007

Get out your magnifying glass.


Alrighty folks, put on your Sherlock Holmes hats...this housewife is presenting to you:
THE MYSTERY OF THE PURLOINED PAMPER!
Do you have your hats on? Good...
Hey! Yes, YOU, Put the hat on your head. That's just disgusting.

It's only natural, when you wake your toddler up from his nap, to expect to find him still wearing his diaper. This is especially true when he's wearing a sleeper and it's zipped up to his chin. When I unzipped my toddler for a diaper change, I found no diaper to change. He was going commando in his footie pajamas.

During the space of a nap, his diaper had gone mysteriously missing!

I know he was wearing a diaper when I laid him down. I put the diaper on him myself. I am absent minded but I usually do manage to cover up my kid's butts when a butt covering is necessary.

I inspected the crib. There were no awol diapers in the blankets, under the sheet, or smooshed between the mattress and the railing. The diaper had not fallen under the crib, nor was it thrown from the crib, across the room. It was not sticking to any wall. It was not hidden in any toybox.

The diaper was not placed in the hamper. It didn't fall to the floor when I unzipped my child's jammies. It had not flipped off his body only to land on my couch, under my table or behind the entertainment center.

I looked at the cat. A suspect! The cat denied absconding with the diaper as such behavior would interrupt his nap. I believed his alibi.

Back to square one. Simplicity Watson...

An initial shake of the sleeper brought forth no diaper. However, shaking did unleash the smell of diaper. Aha, a clue! It had to be here!

Wherever could a diaper hide in a size 18 month sleeper?

Right down in the footie part...all wadded up in the very tip of the toe.

...and it was poopy.

Elementary my dear Watson.

8 comments:

  1. Sigh...
    How sad is it that this was not even vaguely mysterious to me? After checking the blankets and under the bed, the toe of the jammies would be the first place I would check.

    The poopy quality of the diaper was just a bonus.

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  2. Diapers are a thing of the past around here, but there has been more than one occasion when I put Sparky to bed wearing one set of pajamas, only to find her wearing an entirely different set when she gets up the next morning.

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  3. ugh...and it had to be a dirty one.

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  4. I have one still in diapers myself, and so I know I shouldn't be laughing, because Murphy is out there listening somewhere, ready to give my my just desserts.

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  5. Having done it once myself I was going to say that you MUST have forgotten to put the diaper on. It's easy to do. Changing kid into sleeper, take old diaper off, reach for sleeper, dog runs through the house with muddy paws and a bird in his mouth, other child starts fire in toaster, you zip kid up in sleeper and plonk him into the crib before you tear down the hall after the mayhem.
    But your story was definitely more fragrant. ;)

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  6. I am long past the diaper stage with both kids and grand kids but I sure do remember some of the things that happened with them. My two were in diapers when Pampers were pretty new and since at least one of them was alergic to them we only used them while traveling. Those old cloth diapers sure made great rags though when the kids no longer needed them for their original purpose!

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  7. LOLOL! Makes me wonder whether the diaper removal and stowage was calculated, or if he just had really wiggly dreams.

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  8. OMG, my daughter has done that twice in the last month...damn rogue diapers!

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