Friday, March 30, 2007


The other day I was reading...

No really, I was!

I'm sorry, I had to interject with that. I'll get to the topic...ahem.

The other day I was reading about a person who admitted to currently enjoying the music of the BeeGees. The beat is addictive in any era. Barry Gibb, HAWT.

I can understand. This admission reminded me of the coolest lunch box I ever took to school. It was a hand me down from my older sister.

Isn't that the most awesomenest thing? Carrying this lunchbox in my grubby schoolaged fists sent waves of disco fever up my arms, across my shoulders, flooding polyester satin coolness to my first grade brain.

The titles of the BeeGees greatest hits were listed on either side of this lunchbox. My friends and I disrupted the peaceful quiet of an elementary school cafeteria, almost daily, with our laughter over a song entitled "Fanny". Heh, fanny means butt.

The next year the BeeGees lunchbox was replaced with:

I was disappointed when my Mom brought this atrocity home to me. The opposite side had a picture of "Animal" on it. Sigh, it was a boy's lunchbox. I wanted the one she'd brought home for my little sister:

I can't recall exactly why I didn't think this thing wasn't equally atrocious. My little sister was game and so we traded. I remember I was trying to make the most popular girl in the second grade jealous, because she also had a crush on the second grade boy that I had a crush on. If, in second grade, I knew the word "bitch", I probably would have told her she was one just for the sake of female competition.

See my Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox bitch? Yeah...That's how much more awesome I am compared to you. He'll like me more now! He'll let me play with his Princess Leia action figure instead of shoving Boba Fett at me. Neeener, neener!

If Strawberry Shortcake was ever a polite example to little girls, I didn't catch a whiff of it.

Eventually all three lunchboxes were snatched up at a yard sale for chickenscratch. Now the BeeGees box is worth $35, the Muppets worth $12 and the Strawberry Shortcake runs a cool $20.

See how much yours was worth.

The next year I retired my lunchbox in favor of hot lunch, which I ate with chopsticks everyday. See, bitch? Still cool...


  1. SWEET lunchboxes!! It sucks today sending my boys to school with "lunchbags"....apparently someone deemed it necessary to save our poor children from the death-metal box of our youth. Sad.

    My greatest lunchbox ever -- the one I still quiver with excitement when I think about it -- was my Charlie's Angels one, which if I hadn't used it to the point of wearing off the raised picture would fetch me a cool $50 today.

    I'd never sell fact, I'd wanna be buried with it.

  2. Jill the fav sis3/30/2007 3:44 PM

    Where in the hell did you find all of our old lunchboxes? I can't believe you were competing for Steven Staheli's attention with my Strawberry Shortcake lunch box. I feel so used. I liked the boy lunch box much better, in fact I was talking about the Muppets to my kid a couple of hours ago. It also brought back the memories of mom writing messages to us on our hard boiled eggs. Or maybe she just wrote them to me, cause I am so special!

  3. The Hong Kong Phooey lunch box that my mom melted in the oven, in an attempt to speed-dry it, would have netted me a sweet $40.00.

    I still have my Robin Hood that is worth the same. Plus the plastic thermos... so call it $50.00.

    Wanna buy a lunchbox?

  4. Wow, all you kids had modern ones. Mine were so old that I really can't remember what, if anything, was on them. But stuff from the 1950s is probably not worth anything now days anyway.


Absent Minded Archives