Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Sell me a bridge.

I am a great big humongous weakling.

I'm not talking about my muscles. I fully admit to being a wimp in the physical sense. I'm talking about my will, my reserve, my integrity!

Forgive me, for I have been watching American Idol when once I said I held disdain for the program past watching the audition episodes. I have been watching, I have been critiquing, I have been noticing Simon Cowell's pecs. I like Chris Sligh, oh lord help me!

I have so sinned...

I still hold disdain for portions of the program. The bulk of it is directed at one particular sponsor of the show...

Why does Dreyer's think we care if they've got five new American Idol themed ice cream flavors? Can someone tell me what ice cream and talent shows have in common? Why wouldn't I buy this unless is was deeply discounted and I had a coupon?

It used to be that you'd see cartoon characters on products. Everyone knows that Flintstone's Pebbles cereal is for the kids. Same with Smurf's cereal, Mr. T cereal, Urkel-O's, and crispy Pokemon oat bits. It was a natural leap. Kid food with kid themes. Buy a lot of it.

Are adults so commercially inundated that the same marketing strategy applies?

Ask Ben and Jerry. If Amercian Idol ice cream doesn't grab you, get yourself some Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream and have a politically witty day. Karl Rove eats it by the gallon. Research you know.

There are other products I'd like to see marketed. Tie ins are just that awesome.

Ghost Whisperer scented bathroom air fresheners.
CSI flavored gelatin with bonus gelatin molds.
Grey's Anatomy flavored water soluable personal lubricants.
The Office nearly lint free coffee filters.
Heroes brand double dose fiber supplements with calcium.
The View brand tampons, with or without applicators.

Don't you want to get your wallet out? I know I do.

I have to get out my wallet. I'm a will-less weakling.


  1. I don't think I'd purchase The View brand tampons... but if they sold a remix of Midol that had more caffiene in it...

  2. I was expecting to see flavors like "Ryan Semencrust" or "Paula Drunktard-drool"

  3. LOL! Wish I could be so clever. Thanks for the giggle...

  4. Man, you crack me UP! I would SO buy the "Grey's Anatomy flavored personl lubricant!" LOL!!


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