Monday, April 02, 2007

It's uterUS, not uterYOU

Hello folks! My name is Becky. I'm a Housewife. I have a uterus!

If you are one of the lucky multitudes using Google image search, and you have discovered the photo of my tubal ligation procedure under any number of random search terms, you now know who owns the most adorable uterus on the internets.

Welcome to The Absent Minded Housewife! Put up your feet. Would you like some coffee? A backrub? Comfy? Good!

You may want to scroll along my sidebar. I have posts about the female celebrities my husband thinks have impressive...um...personalities. I have posts about my own odd celebrity attractions. I have posts about my band camp hijinks. I have posts about pooping out babies.

...And I have a link to a photo of what is keeping me from pooping out any more babies. Score!

You could ask, "Becky, why would you post such a thing? Certainly that's quite personal!"

Yes, it is personal. The truth is, I don't have a decent excuse for keeping it on my sidebar. I could say, since I've given birth to three sons, that it's my passive aggressive answer to the ever annoying question, "When are you going to have a girl?" I could say that it's a statement about the erotic myths of being a housewife and when you ask to see my private parts, that's exactly what you get. I could say that I'm out to disgust the unassuming with graphic images of surgery, internal organs and female bits.

If you were disgusted, I apologize profusely. I suppose I keep the photo there because I'm not particularly disgusted by it. This is me, all of me, the deep in my gut me. All you need to know about me, you can read it like fingerprints, right on my uterus.

Or, if you rather not read my uterus, here is a photo of me wearing a rather large pair of fake costume boobs. Enjoy.

6 comments:

  1. Hey Becky, okay where is all this sidebar stuff? I like a good trainwreck and if you say all this stuff is ulcer inducing, well then I must have a look....

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  2. Well hello again. And MY, don't you look lovely in those boobs!

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  3. I dream of you....just like that but the t-shirt is wet in my dream.

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  4. What a lovely 'personality' you have Becky! ;)

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  5. Coffee and a backrub sounds good but it will be kind of hard to do with you in Bendover and me in Mt. Vernon. Babies (remember that they grow into "children") are nice but it is good to recognize that there is a practical limit to how many one can really properly take care of. My DIL is child number 14 in a family with 16. That was too many, way too many. She has insisted they are only going to have one.

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  6. Becky, you rock! Isn't it funny that people think their opinions matter when it comes to your ovaries? Sweety you post whatever pics you like, unapologetically! Oh, except that boob shot. I get a sympathetic back ache whenever I see it.

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