Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Ode to the utter bliss that is retiring to the bathroom alone and not doing your business in front of your children.

Hello potty, my old friend,
I've come to sit with you again,
Because my toddler has ceased creeping,
Left in his crib, soundly sleeping,
And the respite
That was needed in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In the echoing walls I sit alone
With Ivory soap and pumice stone,
Near the glow of the mirror lamps,
The towels left on the floor, still damp
When my soul was soon flooded with porcelain delight,
Relief on the bowl so white!
And breathing in the sound of silence.

And in the toilet bowl I saw
The Two Thousand Flushes, almost gone.
That's a lot flushing after peeing,
That's a lot of convenient bowl cleaning!
And I'm grateful that I don't have to share
Or spare a square
And disturb this solitude of silence.

"Ahhh!" says I, "It only goes to show
Silence like a flower grows.
Feeling adult and not little over the age of two,
I'm in my bathroom and not in a zoo!"
And my thoughts like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In these walls of silence.

I flushed, and brushed, then weighed
I hung the towels and sprayed some Glade.
And I sighed at the thought of leaving,
My constitutional so relieving.
And then the tub said,
"You know, your kid is going to nap for another hour,
you don't have to shower."
So I soaked in the sounds of silence.


  1. Did you compose that yourself? It was great!

  2. LOL...I remember those days well!!

  3. BRILLIANT!!!!

    I only wish I had the bathroom to myself.
    The 2 yr old follows me in EVERYTIME!


  4. Yes ma'am, I did indeed parody that all by myself.

    Well, fine, I did use an online rhyming dictionary.


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