Thursday, May 10, 2007

...and I can't flick it off

There are certain toys that any parent with a couple of brain cells and some awareness of their surroundings won't buy for their children. The consequences of owning such toys far outweigh the momentary joy of giving your rug-apes these tools of satan.

My toy shit list includes:

Play-doh
Poster paint
Goo
Lite-Brite
Easy Bake Oven
Marbles
Nerf...or any other foam toys.

With this in mind, you can imagine just how thrilled I was when my oldest son took off to the store with his chore money and came home with an ostriche sized plastic egg filled with glow in the dark silly putty.

I warned him, I did...I warned if that I found any of it smooshed anywhere..in his carpet, in his hair, on the cat... that I'd promptly make him wish that his mother never gave birth to him.

To give him credit, he did heed my warning. He didn't smoosh it anywhere.

What he did do (and this is perfectly logical) is hold his silly putty up to a lightbulb so he could recharge it's glow in the dark superpowers.

....and the silly putty melted under the heat of the bulb.

....and that changed it's molecular structure.

So now his neato silly putty would forever be the consistency of mayonnaise and a hundred times stickier than a booger. My kid melted this alien green silly putty all over his hands, his clothing, and left a great deal of it all over the bathroom fixtures.

I had to scrub it off his hands with a several squirts of dish soap and a toothbrush. The film left behind was easily removed with a tingly rubbing alcohol rinse.

I hope to god that all that silly putty...the stuff he already washed down the sink before becoming distressed and telling me of his plight...doesn't clog any of my drains.

I'm warning my neighbors now. If a mutant glow in the dark creature forces it's way up from the sewers, splashing out of your toilet and demands Pokemon cards and Gogurts, you can defeat the evil with rubbing alcohol.

Or cheap wine.

My vote is for cheap wine.

6 comments:

  1. When you write things about this son, you always sound surprised. WHY?

    You have boys. Stop being surprised, woman! This is your fate and shall be forever more. Just stop cleaning with the cheap wine and start drinking it ~ the earlier, the better! Do you realize that you only have five more years with this lil urchin under your roof? That makes me sad :(

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  2. When I was little...I fell asleep with the silly putty in my hand...not in the egg container, mind you....I was surprised it was melted into my hair...but my mother wasn't...it was my first "buzz cut"

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  3. But I like Lite Brite. Hunting down a bazillion colored pegs every day is my idea of FUN!

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  4. That's not the only problem with Lite-Brite. The other problem? Melting the pegs on the lightbulb....

    Meggy Darling, I'm surprised it WASN'T smooshed into his hair...

    Jerry...do you often fall asleep with goo in your hand?

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  5. It can happen from time to time...I only wish it could bounce and stretch and if spread down on the Sunday Funnies it would make a reverse copy of the Print....it does glow-in-the-dark though...most likely due to living so close to a nuclear power plant.

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  6. I too have banned ALL those from my house, as well as:
    Glitter
    glue bottles
    Magnetix
    Lego-Nanos
    Rock Tumblers
    beads
    stickers

    I'm sure there's more, and if not, I have no doubt that one of the 2
    boys will get SOMETHING that irritates that damnit out of me!

    HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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