Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Here come da judge, here come da judge.

When I came home from vacation I had a nice blue paper in my mailbox threatening me with a fine and a bench warrant if I did not do my civic duty and show up to the jury selection process.

Man, that's what I get for registering and not voting for Dubya!

Actually, I don't mind going. The trial begins on my son's second birthday (We'll be celebrating this weekend anyway.)and will last three days if I'm selected. Because I have to drive 120 miles to get to the county seat they'll put me up in the no-tell motel and feed me. You know, I didn't think a vacation by myself would be something the government would pay for.

What kind of trial do do you think I'll get if it only lasts three days? I'm not thinking serial killer here. I'm hoping it's identity theft or insider trading. I want something with a lot of charts and graphs. I like pretty colors.

There is possibility that the trial may be cancelled. I have to call a neato 24 hour hotline up until the day of the trial for the latest news in trial scheduling. So far, no dice.

The blue paper instructed that I should appear in proper courtroom attire. If I appear in hot pants and a tube top do you think I'll be dismissed? I'd probably be held in contempt of court for not having enough chest to hold up the tube top and I'd pay a fine for being lopsided as well.


  1. 120 miles to the county seat? Them's some wide open spaces out there.

  2. I live at world's end.

    There is only ONE real town in between mine and the county seat. It's fifty miles away and there are two brothels there.

  3. I love it that you'll get a free weekend-style getaway!! That's pretty cool, actually. I can't wait to hear all about it! Ooh...that halfway point brothel town sounds fun....

  4. Kinda neat that they'll put you up for a few days... hope that it's something interesting!

    Here via Blogarita.

  5. wear the fake boob suit.....and small tank top...see how that works

  6. You know the way jury duty works up here is that you are subject to landing on one for those three days. If you get on a long one, you then stay until it is finished. It could be months.

    I was thrilled when I got mine to appear the MOnday before our wedding. I could just see me getting on one. Of course ours is for two weeks of going down there & waiting to see if you get on a jury. I asked to be excused. I guess that because they had charged me $60 for a non-renewable marriage license, they figured they had better let me out of it or I'd sue them. For another marriage license. And another cake, all the travel expenses of the guests and a Honeymoon.

  7. Read your damned myspace mail.

  8. Perhaps you could grow a beard, like i did, so i wouldnt be selected. The prosecutor took one look and me and set me free.

    OH,,, wait, i dont think that will work for u or will it ;)

    I am sure u will have something funny to blog about should u actually have to go to court.


  9. I shaved off my beard this morning. Don't think I'm not kidding....


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