Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I am not a lawyer but I play one on the interweb

Yesterday, while I was participating in the awesomeness that is court mandated jury duty, my son's second birthday came to pass. We celebrated it last Saturday with a gorgeous white cake with cream cheese and strawberry jelly filling and strawberries on top. My kid likes "shrawbries" and he likes shoving his fingers into cake.

Speaking of fingers, my sister took this photo of my husband teaching my son a valuable life lesson...



I didn't get selected to be on the jury. All of the potential jurors names were put into a drum and mine was never called. I am disappointed about this. The whole process was incredibly fascinating to me.

I saw a man cuddling with a woman in an alcove off a hallway in the courthouse. This woman couldn't have weighed more than 70 lbs and she couldn't have been skankier unless she carried around a neon sign advertising the fact. She looked nasty and so used. I wondered what kind of charm and personality kept this man in the mindset that this woman was cuddling material.

When we were all called into the courtroom, and we all passed through the metal detector (which beeped several times but no one bothered to check the people it beeped at), the lawyers sat down and so did the accused. It was our cuddler! I would have bet anyone fifty bucks in that moment that he was on trial for some meth related offense. I was proven right when the charges were read.

Giving trial strategy advice isn't my forte' but I would think it would be a good idea, if you were being tried for meth possession, that you leave your girlfriend home if she looks like the after example in this photo:

After they had picked a jury the rest of us were excused. A nice clerk paid me $80 cash for my mileage.


I used some of my mileage money to go to one of my favorite home cookin' restaurants in Elko. They fed me a huge plate of the most satisfying macaroni and cheese with ham. I felt like hugging random people after paying my lunch bill.

Two church going ladies sat in the booth behind me, also enjoying the macaroni and cheese. They exclaimed how "yummmmmmy!" it was after every bite. They also appreciated that the restaurant actually buttered the hot vegetable side because many restaurants don't...or they use margarine or scary tropical oils.

This led to their discussion on which vegetables are best with lots of butter...

Which morphed into talk of which green vegetables are best with lots of butter...

Which, logically, turned into which fibrous vegetables, topped with lots of butter, cause the most favorable and unfavorable reactions in one's digestion.

Apparently the woman right behind me does not get gassy when she eats broccoli. I was grateful to know this given our proximity. I still considered hugging her. The macaroni was just that good.


  1. Yeah, I had a friend who would periodically go on a meth bender... you could always tell becaus eher would show up where ever with dirty clothes, scabby face and blood smeared somewhere. It would usually just take him four days to end up looking like "after".

  2. sigh... because "HE".. would show up....

  3. Is there an anti-meth drug that would make me look 20 years younger after 2.5 years?

  4. It sounds like your jury duty experience went pretty well. Those trials are interesting but they are also a bit trying on the jury members, too. As to the meth user, some people just don't learn from other's bad experience. They have to learn the hard way and then they don't want to accept blame for their choices.

  5. darn I was hoping you'd get picked for the would have been fun hearing about the different costumes you could wear each day...Lady Macbeth one day....Gorilla the next....then on to giant boob woman....oh the fun.....

  6. I'm surprised you didn't indicate to someone that they should acknowledge the beeping that was going on when people went through the metal detector. That sounds like something that would be within your civic duty and all!

    Macaroni and cheese when you eat out? You and I have to talk.

  7. Meggy darling, love of my life, it was soooooooo good.

    That and my ovaries have been having fits again and it makes my digestion act up and too much rich food is not good and I probably could have added a piquant flavor to the green vegetable discussion at the next booth.

    I was planning on having Basque food. Lots of Basque history in Elko.


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