Friday, July 06, 2007

Amelia Earhart, still missing.

Yesterday was "Holy crap, look at what was behind that!" day.

First on the itinerary was pulling out my electric stove to see what was behind it. I was hoping to see a briefcase with a million dollars in unmarked benjamins. What I found was approximately one million cheerios, two dozen marbles, an entire alphabet of fridge magnets and a matchbox car.

Next on the itinerary was pulling out my refridgerator to see what mysteries lurked behind it. I was hoping to find Jimmy Hoffa and a briefcase with a million dollars in unmarked benjamins. What I found was approximately one million cat kibbles, more marbles, a sheet of pizza hut coupons that expired last year and enough cobwebs to knit a sweater.

To round out the day nicely, my husband and I removed the clogged toilet so we could unclog it from the business end. I did not find a million dollars in a briefcase under or behind the toilet. I found approximately seventeen cents in crusty coins and a drinking straw. What was being drunk under the toilet is anyone's guess.

There was some discussion of under my butt to see what was behind it but it was decided that ignorance is indeed bliss. It's best not to look.


It's my pleasure to finally announce a Kenny Story winner!

Jerry, host of Life is a Bowful of are da man. His submission:

"ummm...this really is Kenny as he was in 1982...he is 24 years old now. He is a Mormon now after being convinced one night at a 9th grade Sadie Hawkins dance that he must stop leading the life of a sinner and stop trying to massage his girlfriend Sarah's tonsils with his tongue...Sarah flipped Kenny that year. Kenny's parents watched helplessly as their son was drawn deeper into the Mormon Cult first losing him all day on Sundays and for 2 years during his mission, where he spent the better part of those 2 years with dysentery and parasites while being the jungles of Costa Rica. Yet today he is more and more disillusioned with the Church especially after being seduced by most of the divorced female church members...he will soon escape and get plagued with visits from missionaries trying to lure him back...he will punch one soon and feel good about himself again."

I especially like the bit about dysentery.

For Jerry's efforts he wins a swell prize. I will gladly send Jerry two bottles of:

Thongweiser! A pretty pair of thong panties packaged in a recycled beer bottle. Looks great, less fabric!

Jerry, I was this close to offering the rubber ball that clogged my boy's toilet as a prize but I figured that I'd send something more classy.

Honorable mention goes to Blogarita for admitting she married this Kenny clone.


  1. Piffle... I still like my Kenny story better.

  2. Do you want a Thongwiser too? I'll send you one, lol.

  3. Crap how did I miss this...yum Thongweiser is much better the Buttweiser.

    Thanks Becky!!!


Absent Minded Archives