Monday, July 09, 2007

This post is now titled...but it still contains caffiene.

I'm leaving!

(And this post has no title because the powers that be have decided I cannot place a cursor in the title box.)

I'm not leaving forever. I'm only leaving long enough to partake of two family reunions. My husband's family's reunion is held biennially and it lasts four days. My family reunion lasts an afternoon.

The four day reunion is held at a big pine lodge up where Robert Redford likes to wet his nuts flyfishing. Everyone sleeps together....in separate army style cots. The family isn't that close. Although I've seen 'em all in their jammies. Hell, I've seen Uncle Earl in his underwear. The man doesn't care where he undresses.

There is an aspect of the four day reunion that I'm just not looking forward to. You would think it would be the constant sunshiney family togetherness and you would be right in a way. There is a point, every morning around 9 am, where I require a little privacy.

I can't poop in a public toilet! Really, I can't! The lodge provides a perfectly adequate public toilet with sparkly clean stalls and I can't go in 'em. My bowels aren't extroverted. I once said that my bowels clench up so tight that I fart backwards when it comes to trying to pinch a loaf in a public bathroom. My bowels don't wanna say good morning when Aunt Gertrude is brushing her teeth over the bar of sinks.

I'm anticipating four days of sunshiney constipation.

At a past reunion I tried waking in the middle of the night to go when I'd be quite alone. My colon wasn't falling for that trick in any way shape or form.

I'll be back next week. Wish me luck.

5 comments:

  1. Becky have fun,relax and eat lots and lots of fruit...prunes if they have them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes, it does. And so can you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. WATERMELON ... lots of it, and a week in advance. It's too late for this year. Try it for the next reunion.

    I defy your bowels to hold back!

    Have a fun trip. I can relate, btw. It stinks (or not, as the case may be).

    ReplyDelete
  4. See, there is another reason for you guys to get your own RV! Then you will have your own little reading room. It works well.

    Anyway, I hope you have fun.

    ReplyDelete
  5. wooo.... that sucks! So, ummm have fun?

    ReplyDelete

Absent Minded Archives