Monday, July 23, 2007

Pretty Posies

I'm not sure if I've violated my marital vows recently or not. I'm asking for outside opinions.

My husband, Justin, despite changing his style this morning from a haute Grizzly Adams clone to Good Ole' Boy Trucker chic, isn't what many would consider to be a grunting testosterone sloshing manbeast. Observe his new "do".


This is the man, that I willingly married without the prodding of a shotgun, who writes poetry and listens to Jethro Tull. This is the man that would rather get a brazilian bikini wax than watch The Super Bowl. This man has never in his entire life put a can of warm Bud Lite next to his lips and thought he was living the high life.

...and I've violated this man's delicate sense of masculinity by doing the unthinkable.

Oh Lord, forgive me!

Sigh...I bought new floral printed sheets which we slept on for the first time last night. He only barely survived.

In my defense, the sheets are blue floral print, and they were on sale! Our old blue striped sheets were getting worn with all the sleeping (yeah, that's it, sleeping...) we had been doing on them.

Will our romance be the same? Will there be a point in the near future where I will have to go to the grocery store and pick up tampons for HIM and it will all be my fault? Is my lingerie safe???

It could be worse I suppose. I could move the floral theme to our bathroom. I could put a fuzzy pink cover on the lid of the toilet make him use matching pink triple blade razors.

Ten-four, Buttercup.

4 comments:

  1. I don't understand some men's unease with sleeping with a woman on floral-patterned sheets. It doesn't make you gay (not that there's anything wrong with that!) to sleep with a woman in a bed the woman likes. Now, if the guy painted his pick-up truck with a Precious Moments theme, I'd say he's a sick, sick man. But flowers on the marital bed = more romance vibe = better straight-man credentials.

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  2. Once when I was about 20...I bought some designer Bill Blass sheets from Sears I think...and a woman told me my bed was very masculine...she obviously was more moved by my linens than by me...takes all kinds...right?

    (never happened since...I'll have you know)

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  3. Hmm, just have him drink a few of those warm beers before going to bed and he won't care what pattern is on the sheets.

    Or, you might select a sexy night gown and be lying on the bed in it when he comes in and I doubt he will notice the pattern printed on the sheets.

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  4. This really made me laugh, though I was alarmed at first: you appear to have married my cousin! On second glance I saw that no, he is not my cousin. But we could be relations.

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