Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Slick

Housewifery is what I've termed as "The Daily Failure". This is because a housewife's work is never done. It consists of hours upon hours of toilet scrubbing, dish scrubbing, crayon marked wall scrubbing, floor scrubbing, tub scrubbing, kid scrubbing and the never ending scrubbing of the various substances kids mysteriously throw on the ceiling. You manage to clean your house into a semi presentable state and then, boom, drippy gooey mess, failure, the process has to start all over again.

Madge, it's hell on my hands. Get your damned dishsoap away from me.

Instead, bring me a tube of August's Bestest Housewifely Doodad!

Camille Beckman Glycerine Hand Therapy.

I first discovered the sensual experience of Camille Beckman while working at this one costume shop slash beauty supply in Utah County several years ago. I took some of my meager earnings and purchased a tube. Apricot scented. The store frowned upon taking the sample tubes home with you and not sharing with everyone else.

I see you've noticed that the photo I've posted isn't apricot. Camille don't make it none more. Don't ask me why, I don't know. They may have renamed the scent something fancy. Instead I posted a photo of the best smelly lotion Camille makes. Oriental Spice, originally designed for men, but smells way better on me. It's musky. The scent makes me want to jump my husband's bones and roll about him like a rabid dog in heat.

The glycerine and the dimethicone in this lotion cover your dishpan hands in soft lube-y ecstacy. It feels like you've armored your hands with the same stuff that they put on pots and pans to make it nonstick, but in a less industrial and more girly feminine type way. If your hands really are in bad shape, all cracky and peely and scratchy, this lotion will heal them right up. Tootsies too. Slather it on your feet and put on a pair of socks, it's divine.

Glycerine Hand Therapy comes in several scents and sizes. A six ounce tube, which lasts me forever (I still have that tube of apricot), will set you back ten dollars. You can't find it at Wallyworld, or most grocery stores. It's sold through giftshops and online. It's worth paying shipping and handling.

I just rubbed some into my hands. I dare say I'll feel like a success, and quite frisky, while I scrub my oven. Get that image out of your heads you perverts.

Thank you Camille Beckman Glycerine Hand Therapy, I like you, I really like you.

5 comments:

  1. I'll let Pat's daughter know about this. She is a nurse and has a problem with the regular hospital soap making her hands break out. Using a special soap seems to work but this doodad might help, too.

    Any word on the job yet?

    ReplyDelete
  2. NOBODY but nobody talks better about lube than you Becky...uh oh walking like a peg-leg pirate over here!
    Gosh I'm easy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Did the Vision :M arrive yet?

    ReplyDelete
  4. It finally did arrive. Justin paid for two day shipping, so of course they send it clear to CA. Amazon refunded his money and immediately sent out another one...and it wouldn't turn on. Justin was deflated. The one that got sent to CA showed up yesterday and is working beautifully.

    Justin meant to listen to it on his way to Elko today for a school district event but he got caught up in being some other teacher's driving buddy and discussing all things high school. This made him antsy.

    Otherwise, he's really really really liking his major award. We hope our kids don't use it as a hockey puck.

    ReplyDelete
  5. i know exactly the sensation of which you blog. i have some expensive sea salt scrub stuff with the lube in it so after you exfoliate and rinse you have the slickity hands. or feet.

    ReplyDelete

Absent Minded Archives