Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I can't believe it's not Louie Anderson

I'm worried about myself.

I woke up this morning fresh from an incredibly erotic dream. Yes, there was nudity and the touching of the nudity and the tasting of the nudity and even random moments of sniffing of the nudity. It was all very naked.

This dream kept me asleep for fifteen minutes longer than I meant to.

Who's the lucky individual you ask? Who's the object of my dream affections? Who lit a fire in my sleeping loins? Interpret if you like, I got it on with...


Louie Anderson.

My subconcious isn't reaching too far. I did buy tickets to see him perform in my town's new concert hall. I think the man is funny. My husband and I are going to go watch Louie perform real close up. I don't think I'll wear fancy underpants like I meant to when I went and saw Dustin Diamond. I think the cotton grannies will do just fine.

As erotic dreams with celebrities go, this one was new to me. In my dreams I've gotten it on with Simon Cowell, Mr. Bean, unwillingly with Tom Cruise (shudder), Maria de Medeiros (the female lead in the movie "Henry and June") and there was a threesome with Sean Connery and Mario Lopez (I woke up and thought, "That's the only time they'll work together.")

I once had a dream in which I was churning butter with an old fashiond churn that turned out to be pretty hot. It's a wonder the butter didn't melt.

Whatever would Freud say about me? How does this relate to my parents, my constant pencil chewing or my wish to have a penis of my very own? I don't think I use enough cocaine for him to have an opinion.

I don't use enough butter either.

8 comments:

  1. I have serious penis envy. If I had one of my own I'd never leave it alone. That being said, I'm perfectly happy to play with my husband's at any given opportunity.

    As for the leads in your dreams, might I suggest you start watching hotter stars? Oy ... Loui Anderson, Dustin Diamond, Tom Cruise, Sean Connery? Yucky! The only one I could tolerate is Mario Lopez and that's only if you put duct tape over his mouth. He does have a tight little frame, doesn't he?
    However, my husband has better thighs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm thinking you need to seek some kind of help Becky.

    While Louie is rich and funny and all that....

    Ewww.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, you do have your own penis. It is just attached to Justin.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait, that's the wrong "Saved by the Bell" alumnus in your dream, and paired with the wrong other guy. I'm thinking you, Screech, and Louie Anderson.

    ReplyDelete
  5. no denying Louie Anderson is one funny guy!

    said he can't go the beach...people keep trying to roll him back into the water...to save him.

    haha.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Screech refused to be my Myspace friend...sigh...

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are a disgusting pervert! Or maybe just a supreme asshole. Thanks for telling mother my new pet name for you. I am now grounded!

    ReplyDelete

Absent Minded Archives