Friday, November 09, 2007

You know, the pills are made of monkey cum.*

I did a bad thing and did not check my load of whites for a brown crayon before I put them in the dryer. One of my favorite blouses looks like the last square of industrial TP at a highway rest-stop.

I bought some goo to put on the marks so they'll disappear. It wasn't expensive goo but then my blouse wasn't all that expensive either. If it doesn't work I won't be too upset.

Don't you wish there was goo to make annoying people in your life disappear? How much would you pay for such goo?

I wouldn't mind spritzing the lady who gives me and my teacher husband the stinkeye in the grocery store for failing her progeny (who didn't hand in nearly enough completed homework and couldn't stay awake in class) with my spray bottle of "Twit be Gone". This product may also be effective with ineffective politicians or telemarketers you can't block because they catagorize their scam as a charity.

Or...instead of a spray...a heavily advertised drug that heals other people of their highly annoying traits. I want a new drug. One that doesn't cause dry mouth and erectile difficulties.

Terrorists are annoying.
George W. Bush is annoying. (Oh lord, why did I just have to think of Dubya experiencing erectile difficulties and why in the world would I relay that thought here so you too would think it all day? Heh.)
Paris Hilton is annoying.
This generation of Millenials is annoying.

and

At times I'm annoying. Sigh.

Did you think I wouldn't do at least a little self introspection here? I mean really, I DID start this post with my own laundry faux pas.

While I sit down with my load of whites and patiently dot the easily miscontrued brown crayon marks with goo, I have time to compare and contrast everyone I think is annoying with my own behaviors, everyone except Dubya Bush. Or maybe I'll just watch Oprah.

Let's hope the goo won't give me too much of a buzz during the process.


*Uncharateristic semen reference courtesy of "Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy"

5 comments:

  1. Oh, gawd—limp Bush.

    As payback, here's Cheney's package.

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  2. Couldn't you just keep the newly decorated blouse as a special tie dye type gift from your toddler? Just think, it is probably a one of a kind.

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  3. preciousagogo11/13/2007 1:10 AM

    Twit be gone...I need a gallon of that.

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  4. HAHA! George Dubya is annoying. And Paris Hilton....yep! I seem to get annoyed very easily these days...any tips for that? And I will take the drug that rids the annoying traits...if I started spraying Twit Be Gone everytime I got pissy, there wouldn't be anyone left! :)

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