Monday, December 17, 2007

Bah Humbug

Have you ever seen a version of "A Christmas Carol" which didn't have an incredibly annoying Tiny Tim? I admit to never have read Dickens' written version (to which I'll get to shortly) but every film version I've seen features a Tiny Tim that you wish was more like the Flick character in "A Christmas Story".

You wish Tiny Tim would freeze his tongue onto a pole.

I understand that Dickens wanted to personalize Scrooge's experience with the Spirit of Christmas. Tiny Tim is supposed to be sweet. He's supposed to inspire charity and good will towards men with his ever enduring spirit in the face of adversity. Couldn't a film director capture that and not make him so saccharine-y that you want to bitchslap the kid?

"God bless us, every one!" would be extra satisfying if followed by Mr. Crachit admonishing Tim to "Shut your piehole for once!" Bob Crachit is tired, he's poor, and dammit, he's not going to take it any more.

That being said, here is a top ten list of celebrities who film-makers should cast because they'd make fabulous Tiny Tims.

10. Paris Hilton
9. Woody Allen
8. Alec Baldwin
7. Michael Jackson
6. Courtney Love
5. Tom Cruise
4. Jack Black
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger
2. Britney Spears
1. Rosie O'Donnell

I've also been giggling all morning thinking about if Tiny Tim lived today, what crap would he put on his MySpace page? I'm thinking pics of kittens.


  1. Kittens, little puppies, and he'd have pictures of Santas and reindeers all over it for the holiday season.

    Can you believe I've never watched the whole thing?

  2. You are a hoot, Becky!

    I personally vote for Jack Black. There is something about him, in the way he moves that speaks Tiny Tim.

    BTW: Love your new photo. You look smashing!

  3. I'd like to see Paris Hilton try to do the role of a poor person. I still remember seeing the Ellen DeGeneress Show when Ellen took Nicole Ritchie to a Dollar Store for Nicole's first ever visit to one. Apparently she actually enjoyed the place. I kind of doubt that Paris would have fitted in there at all.

  4. Thanks for the link, I haven't read it in English yet :-)

    Happy Holidays!

    LOL I had written Happy Halloween! I must be tired.


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