Friday, December 21, 2007

I didn't fart the blue dart.

There are moments in parenting when you sit back with a wistful smile on your face and think, "Ya know, I'm not too bad at this!" Things are going well, your kids are acting polite, they're clean, they're pulling great grades in school.

I did not have one of those moments yesterday.

You do not sit back with a wistful smile on your face while two of your three sons discuss the finer aspects of lighting farts in the backseat of your fabulous minivan. The third, the two year old, might have been involved in the conversation too for all I could tell. He yells, "TOOT!" just as often as he asks for juice boxes.

I swear to God and everything that is holy that I've told my kids to not play with matches. I had to have told the oldest to not do that for the last ten years on a daily basis. Brush your teeth, wash your hands, don't play with matches. Don't play with lighters either. Don't make sparks with the batteries you've pulled out of your remote control cars. Don't light things on fire by holding them against the lightbulb in your lamp. Don't rub sticks together. Don't take that magnifying glass outside. Just don't.

Why? Because I'm the Mom and I told you so.

Do you know what a blowback is? It's bad. It's painful internal burn bad. My sons have warned me to avoid blowback. Duly noted.

Time to buy more fire insurance on the house.

1 comment:

  1. Yikes!

    Hope the Christmas tree and decorations stay put.

    happy Holiday, Becky!


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