Monday, January 07, 2008

Is that a screwdriver in your pocket...

My husband claims that he knows how to use power tools, that he can use them very well indeed, but he just prefers not to. He's full of it.

This is why he brought this book home to me as a present today.

I sense ulterior motives.

It's true that I am the owner of every tool in my household. (And no, they aren't girly pink tools...hack hack spit spit.) I'm super duper excited to venture out to my garage this week and fix the chain on the automatic garage door opener. I happen to like it when my garage door opens and closes as it should. It gets me hot.

I also have plans to redo the bathrooms, rip up the impractical white vinyl in my kitchen and put in new flooring, build shelving in the garage, put custom shelving in my pantry, texture and paint the walls in my laundry room and install a heavy duty swing in the bedroom.

This is all very well and good since I am growing a Bob Vila beard. If Ty Pennington and I were in a hairy bear contest, I'd win, no matter how loud Ty is. My ovaries keep me sweaty, furry and grunting these days.

Justin does have his place in all this home improvement. He holds my level, snaps my chalk line, and offers up witty responses to all of my curse words.

...And I will take him to the hospital when he gets a home improvement helper boo boo, like a sandpaper cut, or when he nail guns his palm to the wall. It's only what a good wife would do.


  1. "...install a heavy duty swing in the bedroom."

    I've often wondered if a rope chair might be quite fun. ;)

  2. I sense interior motives.

  3. all I can think about is you in one of those leather handyman tool belts, high heels and the giant fake boob costume...I know I'm not all there.

  4. Jeff...Wouldn't you get rope chair impressions on yer bum?

  5. ..... and on the seventh day she rested.

  6. Becky... With one like the one in the picture I linked to, I don't think so. It looks like there's fabric covering the rope in that area of the chair.

    I have to share my first reaction to your question, though: In that situation, I'm pretty sure whatever temporary marks may or may not be left on my bum would be pretty low on my list of concerns. Isn't that a bit like being worried that your hair's going to get messed up if you ride the roller coaster? ;)

    But maybe that's just me. I'm pretty sure I've left "playtime" before with somewhat less temporary signs in somewhat more visible places. :)

  7. Justin doesn't let me bring Sharpies to bed anymore.

  8. I sometimes boast to myself that I'm well on my way to my goal of growing up to be a dirty old man, yet I'm embarrassed to admit that "Justin doesn't let me bring Sharpies to bed anymore." sounded quite out of context to me. :)

    Dare I ask what led Justin to feel the need to impose such a ban?

  9. COMPLETELY unrelated to my last question (*wink*), you don't happen to be a big George Michael fan, do you? ;)

    I would have checked the Bowhunk list, but I got a "page not found". :(

  10. Hey-I can help-with the construction stuff, I mean. Rope swings and sharpies are more than I am up to. I wonder, would you trade one of your neato tools for my lighted tweezers ?


Absent Minded Archives