Monday, February 04, 2008

Back Seat Eater

My cuddly husband Justin has been trying to give up the eating of the fast foods lately. He has been denying himself delicious cheeseburgers and greasy breakfast sandwiches and the divinity that is anything that is deep fried in trans-fatless oils.

It's just un-American. I've pledged allegiance to the bacon cheese Whopper and I'm feeling a little bit betrayed by his new found admiration in food that isn't served in waxed paper.

What he's not giving up is his rapt attention to the television, namely Sonic Drive-In commercials.


If this woman told my husband to eat a gooey oozing Sonic cheeseburger he'd do it. He'd make Barry White style love to that cheeseburger. He'd go at that thing with both hands, a tarp and a bottle of baby oil. French fries? That's the cuddle after the main event. Milkshake? Get ready for round two baby.

If we had a Sonic in my town I'd be in big big trouble and so would he. You don't make friends with salad.

Justin's got a craving and it ain't for chili dogs and dino-nuggets.

Oh Molly Erdman, you Second City slushie slurping tart! Why do you attract my husband so? Sorry, dumb question. Her dry wry jokes are like getting extra napkins with your combo meal, when you need them you're so glad you've got them.

Now, maybe, my husband will let me eat my fried cheese in peace.


  1. He is probably still young and active enough that he can eat those things without too much worry but boy, once that weight increase starts it is sneaky and insidious. I've gotten rid of 30 pounds but seem to have reached a plateau that I can't break through. I'd like to drop more.

    I don't know Molly Erdman but I can see a reason for her being attractive to Justin. Of course it would be just a passing whim because he has you.

  2. We record our TV shows on our DVR and fast forward through the commercials. We both enjoy watching the Sonic commercials, though, and we make exceptions for them. I don't understand why they show the commercials when the closest Sonic is about 4 hours away in Oregon. But I do appreciate the laugh.

  3. You should both go get your cholesterol tested. I have a legitimate reason to harass my husband about everything he puts in his mouth. It's a wonderful life ...


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