Monday, March 24, 2008

Here's the trick where I pull a rabbit out of my pants.

Easter came and went at Casa Absentminded in a flurry of marshmallowy sugar.

We skipped the eggs though, a first around here. It's not my first Easter omission though. For years I've refused to buy that damned Easter grass. You live with that Easter grass for months after you've tucked it into baskets. It hides and then it attacks. You're in the shower in mid-August and suddenly plastic grass pops out of nooks and crannies you didn't know were parts of your body. It's disturbing.

This year the eggs didn't get put on the back burner, literally. Usually eggs would be dyed but that's all that would happen to them. I couldn't convince anyone to eat them after. They would sit, moldering and lonesome in the fridge, wondering why the Easter grass of years gone by was getting all the action.

I also skipped the plastic eggs. Teeny little portals to Hell they are.

What we did instead, since we are in the midst of potty training, was use Sharpies to decorate my toddler's new tighty whities. No cartoon dainties for my kid, oh no! I'm fostering a unique sense of self which is so important when it comes to learning how to take a whiz.

My son would tell me what to draw and I'd oblige him. By the time a six pack of underwear was done I was quite buzzed on Sharpie fumes.

Enjoy the fashion show:



My son likes spiders. Spidey is happy because he's got a belly button. Then my son instructed me to draw "other buttons" because he didn't know the word for nipples. I said nipples and he repeated back, "hippies". I was instructed to dot the spider with a series of belly buttons and hippies. There is one green hippie. That's the one with the peculiar itchy rash.



This pair started with a command to draw his older brother. I'm keeping this pair forever to remind my middle son that he was ever so admired. Brother has two noses, one with a prominent hippie.

What else is also admired by my toddler? Monkeys and little Lego action figures. No hippies on them.



This pair started with a happy little tree. Bob Ross neglected to put belly buttons and hippies on his trees and therefore my underpants tree is far more happy than his ever were. The blush of ecstacy was supplied by my son as well as the suspicious green dot below.

When you think about nature and hippies, you naturally think of television. You would think the TV is covered in belly buttons and hippies, but no, those are functional television controls. The picture in picture function doesn't work in this one either.



Not to deprive my child of a super hero theme, here's SUPER-PICKLE!

Super Pickle asks you to pull his finger and prepare for your doom.



I also wrote a dirty limerick on my husband's boxer shorts. It's quite festive and celebrates the awakening of the Earth in spring. Happy Easter!

11 comments:

  1. Nothing says Easter like festooned tightie-whities.

    We went to brunch and ate too much buffet then complained loudly all afternoon.

    Happy Easter to us all!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Will those all wash out or stay through washes? That is a neat idea.

    We are wondering where the spring like weather is. Didn't spring come at something after 23:00 last Wednesday night here in the Pacific (Daylight) Time Zone? Why then was there a bit of snow in our yards at dawn Friday morning? Maybe the problem is global warming. No, that wouldn't go along with snow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HHmm....I might be sending you a couple pairs of my boxer shorts. Can you draw Rambo??

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes sir, I can draw Rambo.

    I cannot draw human growth hormone.

    (Those better not be the same underwears you sent that other guy.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Those are freakin' awesome! Very creative!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. For Super Pickle, you win the internetz.

    Hijinks

    ReplyDelete
  7. The colour will no doubt come out. In that regard, I still refuse to send you my undergarments especially after seeing this. Afterall i dont want to have to explain to my wife why my thing is green,,,,again ;)

    Erf

    ReplyDelete
  8. didja notice both you and Justin reference the Rocky and Bullwinkle show within a day of each other ?

    Aside from that, LOVE the pants ! How ya gonna keep him from showing everybody ?

    ReplyDelete
  9. He refuses to wear them. He won't show anybody!

    I made a Rocky and Bullwinkle reference? It wasn't intentional. I loves me some Rocky and Bullwinkle, but Might Mouse sucked.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just the title-'cept Bullwinkle pulls the rabbit out of his hat . . just my interpretation, I guess

    ReplyDelete
  11. My kid also decorate their own undies, but not as colorful!

    ReplyDelete

Absent Minded Archives